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“I won’t be long.” Poppy didn’t look the least bit bothered by her state of dress. She looked ready to fight. “I did the math. We’ve had one hundred and seventeen weekly hangout sessions since I moved back. We’ve met through hurricanes, the flu, and even that phase Jude went through with his earpiece. One hundred and seventeen weeks straight.”
I sighed and leaned my elbows on the table. I really wanted to shake her.
“You all promised that nothing would change, but here you are, flirting with waitresses and not inviting me out for the first time in one hundred and seventeen fucking weeks!” She had really managed to work herself up. “You’re all liars.”
“You must not remember screaming at us to leave you alone.” I took a hard pull of my beer and then pointed at her with it. It looked like everyone was working with a short fuse that night. “We’re not liars. We’re just trying to get through our best friend treating us like shit.”
“And the waitress?” If Poppy heard how crazy she sounded, she didn’t let on.
“Poppy, I’m telling you right now, you’re pissing me off. Of course I’m not fucking flirting with the waitress. I told you I loved you a week ago. You think I’ve loved you for my whole life just to tell you and then get over it in time to flirt with other women?” I held up my hands and looked at Jude and Cyrus. “Feel free to take over.”
Cyrus looked up from Poppy’s feet and shook his head. “Go home, Poppy. You’re not ready for us yet.”
Her hands balled into fists and she stepped closer. “What’s that supposed to mean?’
“It means that you’re yelling at us in a bar with no shoes on.” Jude shoved his burger away. “It means that you’re acting like you’re expecting an apology for us giving you what you demanded. You wanted to be left alone. We left you alone.”
I’d never seen Poppy stomp her foot before, but in that moment, she did. She stomped it hard and gripped the edge of the table in a way that made me nervous she was going to flip it. “Well, thanks for leaving me alone! I’m glad it seems to have been so easy for you all.”
“Go home, Poppy.”
“Make me, Cyrus.”
His jaw stiffened. “Lucky for me, I know just the way to get you to run away from us. I love you, Poppy.”
My chest ached for him and for us. I looked to Poppy, expecting to see a trail of dust in her wake as she sprinted out of the bar, but she was still there, eyes lowered, body stiff.
“Ma’am, you really have to put on shoes or leave.”
“Just give me a minute!” Poppy snapped at the woman and then looked around at us. She lowered her voice. “Just give me a minute. Please.”
I wanted to pull her into my arms, but I couldn’t. She had to figure her shit out first.
“I shouldn’t have come here.” She pushed her hair behind her ears and wrapped her arms around herself. “I don’t even know what I’m doing.”
“We’ll be here when you do know.” Cyrus looked back down at his bottle, the pain on his face clear. He’d just told her he loved her and she couldn’t accept it. Once again. “But you need to understand that if you decide that you can’t be with us, that you’re not brave enough to risk it, we’re going to need time to be okay. Because right now, we’re not okay.”
Poppy’s eyes filled with tears and I watched with my entire body feeling like it was being ripped to shreds as those tears ran down her cheeks. She didn’t try to hide them, for once in her life. She looked haunted as she stared at Cyrus.
“Ma’am—”
“She heard you the first two times.” I was harsher than I meant to be but our waitress needed to fuck off.
“I’m going…I, uh…” Poppy flinched as the rest of the bar cheered over something happening in the game and looked around, hastily wiping her eyes. “God. I have to go. I’m sorry I bothered you.”
I watched her weave through the crowd and disappear with my heart in my throat. Slamming my bottle onto the table, I scrubbed my hands over my face, knocking my glasses onto the table as I did. “I don’t think I can be in public anymore tonight.”
Jude pulled out his wallet. “I second that.”
“Just…leave me here.” Cyrus put his elbows on the table and hung his head. “I think I need an unlimited supply of alcohol right now.”
Standing up, I gripped his shoulder. “Come on. We’ll stop at the liquor store on the way home.”
54
***Poppy***
Bogiecamehomesmellinglike Sam most nights. It was a strange form of torture to smell a man I missed desperately when I hugged my dog, and then have to go through a moment of jealousy that my dog had gotten to cuddle with Sam when I couldn’t. It wasn’t even a moment, if I was being honest with myself. I wasn’t sure it ever ended. I sometimes found myself being upset with Bogie over it, which was absolutely ridiculous.
