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Stolen everything in my soul that had been resolute about returning to Italy, leaving the states behind, and becoming something more than a killer.
She thought I was brave.
She was wrong.
I was suddenly petrified—not of my death, that would happen eventually anyway—but of what she made me feel. I hated weakness. I hated feeling like I didn’t have the upper hand, and in one car ride, I suddenly lost my grip on everything and was now at a home shopping store with a girl holding hands, pretending in my stupid head that this was a normal life.
We needed a new doorknob.
Or a new sink.
We were going to do home improvements, build a fucking fence… yeah, that was what was happening in my head right now.
Ridiculous.
And yet, every aisle made me want that normalcy, something I’ve never even thought about after being brought up in this life, after shedding so much blood.
After knowing I was born for this and I would die here.
“So!” Katya’s face lit up as she squeezed my hand. “Where first?” she asked.
“A door,” I grumbled. “We need to find a stupid bedroom door, hinges, the works, and then I need a hammer.”
“Why a hammer?” She frowned, her pretty eyebrows pushing together like she was the most innocent person in the world when I knew she just rode me to heaven, maybe hell too.
“Why do we need a hammer? Why does anyone need a hammer?” I laughed, then turned to her. “To hammer things. Make things go silent. Pound.” I run my thumb over hers.
She let out a gasp, her eyes focusing in on mine in a way that made me want to shove her against the closest aisle of nails and do exactly that.
“Does that mean you’re going to do it?”
“Do what?” I asked.
“Nail me. Train me. Use me the way I used you? Are you going to go against everything you’ve been told for one person? One thing?”
I hesitated and then sighed. “I’ve done that my whole life, gone against everything that’s right. What’s one more wrong?”
“So I’m wrong now?”
“I’m engaged.”
“You hate her.”
“I’m aware.”
“I’m Andrei’s sister.”
I smirked. “Also aware. Any other awarenesses we should be discussing?”
“He might kill you.”
“Might should probably be switched to will. Hewillkill me, and that blood will bleed all over your head. Would it be worth it? I truly want to know. Would you risk it all, risk me, just to find yourself? Just to be free?”
Tears formed in her eyes. I couldn’t look away as she gripped my hand and pulled me close. “Yes.”
“First lesson complete.” I sighed. “Sacrifice everyone… for yourself.”
“So I’m selfish now?”
