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I laughed through my tears and pressed my hand over his before interlacing our fingers and moving it away. “I just have a lot of big feelings these days.”
“What kind of big feelings?” He stroked my face with his other hand. He seemed so calm when my own heart was pounding away.
“Just…things I’ve never felt before.” I pressed my forehead to his chest. “Even feeling safe enough to crawl into your lap. I’ve never had that before. I’ve never felt safe enough to take what I want or trust the other person to give it to me, if that makes sense.”
He tucked his finger under my chin and lifted my face to his. He even waited until I opened my eyes to look at him before speaking. “It makes sense. It’s a new feeling for me, too. It goes both ways, love.”
“Did I ruin your fun?”
He pressed his hips into me and let me feel that he was still hard. “Doesn’t seem like it.”
I playfully pushed at his chest. “You stayed hard while I was crying? That’s something you’re going to need to get looked into.”
He cupped my ass and lifted me so just my tiptoes were on the ground. “It had a lot less to do with you crying than it did with you crying while naked and wet.”
51.
***Memphis***
IsatnexttoBea on the couch and looked at the door for the hundredth time. Any second I was expecting it to come flying open with the kids chasing the guys in or the guys chasing the kids in. I wasn’t sure who’d be the top dog in that match. Bea and I had organized another play date for the guys, to prepare them, as we told them. Really, Bea needed a night off and I was eager to see her while she wasn’t griping at me for helping her clean.
Instead of hunkering down like spies in the guardhouse, though, we were in the guesthouse, unable to see what was happening. Jake had the night off and he’d really cramped our style by refusing to let us use the security system without him. There was another guard, a man named Nico, but he was by the book. I knew if I even suggested he let me spy on the guys that he’d probably tie me up with zip-ties until he’d run a full background check on me.
“Stop it, Memphis. You’re making me nervous.” Bea drained her glass of sweet tea and made another face at me. “And you just drink it like that? It’s pure sugar. Has Doctor Braddock checked you for diabetes yet?”
I scowled and pulled my own tea glass closer. “I don’t have diabetes, Bea.”
“And you know this because he checked you?” It was her turn to glance at the door. “I thought I heard something.”
“Should we just go and see what’s happening? It’s been two hours. I can’t handle the suspense.” When she nodded, I lunged off the couch and then stopped to groan at the heartburn threatening to make me vomit or maybe cry. Or both. “How do I have five more months of this? My body is trying to kill me.”
She made baby noises at my belly. “But it’s so cute, though! Look at it, this cute little baby bump. I wish you’d just let me hold it. It wouldn’t have to be weird.”
I glared at her. I hadn’t known what to expect, not really. Doctor Braddock had mentioned I’d possibly start showing at three months, but when I hadn’t, I thought maybe I was going to be one of those people who don’t put on a lot of baby weight and I’d maybe celebrated a little too hard with a cheesecake. Overnight, the bump had dropped out of nowhere. Then, it just grew larger by the day. I was having a hard time fitting into my clothes.
“Stop talking about it.” I grimaced as my throat burned with acid. “But ask me again in another couple of months when my back hurts.”
“I’ll mark it on my calendar now.”
“You don’t have a calendar. Sometimes I think you might not even have a watch.” I slipped my feet into the slippers I’d started wearing for comfort. Wells had found them for me through some online boutique and they felt like heaven. “You make me look punctual. And that’s really saying something.”
“You’re getting on my nerves. Have you been laid today?” She never failed to tease me about my relationship with the guys. “If you have, do you want to tell me about it?”
I laughed and pushed her out the front door. “You’re such a pervert.”
“As the woman who cleaned up the kitchen island that you got tied to, I don’t want to hear a thing about being a pervert.” She cackled as I blushed. “You shouldn’t have told me that one. I’ll never let it go. I didn’t have a clue what I’d walk in on that morning. Leather straps, lube, and enough evidence left behind for me to know that you did not go quietly into that good night.”
I groaned loudly to drown out her words. “I made Remy apologize for that!”
“Oh, and that went swimmingly.” She put on a deep voice. “Sorry about the sex stuff, Beatrix. It’ll probably happen again, but I’ll add hazard pay.”
“And I made him apologize for that, too!” I laughed at the memory of his face when I told him to go back and apologize for acting like Bea had any responsibility for cleaning up sex toys. Hazard pay or not, there were things you just didn’t do.
“Yeah, that one was even worse.” She laughed. “I’m pretty sure it was a drive-by apology. I wasn’t even sure what he’d said until you told me later.”
“They’re still such little boys at times. Stubborn and petulant when they want to be. Remy calls me a brat, but you should see them not get their way. You’d think the world was ending.” Of course, I was complaining with a big, goofy grin on my face. Every day I spent with them made me fall more for them. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get out of my Hawke brothers sized hole. Or that I wanted to.
“But he also calls you his good girl.” She pretended to fall over. “God. I almost wish you’d never told me that. I think I’ve been horny ever since.”
