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“I really appreciate Aggie’s help in adjusting, but I think it’s important to set a new standard.” Olivia took a sip from her tea and frowned. “I understand that this is new to you three. You weren’t parents and then you were. There’s a lot that goes into making sure a child of Gracie’s standing is raised right. She needs structure and focus. If she’s allowed to do whateverfeels right, or whatever she’s doing now, she’ll stall out in this phase. I’m afraid Aggie has encouraged her to sit in her grief.”

I shook my head firmly. “No. Aggie has been great. Gracie has flourished under her care.”

Nodding quickly, Olivia clasped her hands to her chest. “I’m sure she has, Zander. Aggie is wonderful. She’s been so kind to me. She even listened to me ramble on and on the past two nights until she just passed right out. I don’t doubt her heart. It’s just that… I went to a school similar to the school Gracie will attend in the fall. I have a feeling that Aggie didn’t. The children can be cruel. I just want to make sure Gracie has the best chance at success.”

Knight grunted as he stood up and grabbed his whiskey. “I’m going to bed.”

Kyrin stared hard at me. “Same. I assume you can handle this.”

I got the message. They both wanted me to set Olivia straight. I pinched the bridge of my nose. I’d gone over Olivia’s resume enough to know that she was well-respected. Her references swore by her talent to offer childcare that prepared their children for their futures in ways they’d never seen done before. She was the most sought after nanny from the most sought after company in the state. There were no red flags in her professional career.

On the other hand, Aggie wasn’t a nanny. It was something she’d shouted at me more than once. She’d never wanted to be a nanny and she had no interest in ever doing it again. She’d even said she didn’t want kids. She could look at a marketing problem and solve it faster than anyone I’d ever known, while giving multiple solutions to improve profits, but she hadn’t known if Gracie would be able to go to the bathroom on her own when she first arrived.

I was a logical man. I’d gotten to where I was in my life because I made smart decisions. It didn’t make sense to doubt Olivia as a nanny. I worked the options over in my head and came up with the one that would be the least problematic. “I’ll relieve Aggie of her duties. Do whatever you need to do to make sure Gracie can assimilate into her new school. I want it to be as easy as possible for her.”

Olivia clapped her hands together and smiled. Crossing her legs, she leaned forward, looking up at me through her lashes. “I respect you so much, Zander. I look forward to working with you.”

“We won’t be working together, Olivia. My brothers and I have a close relationship with Aggie, but we don’t intend to become friends with you, or any other nannies.” I saw her face fall and drained the last of my whiskey. “Don’t take it personally. While checking your references, I saw that you’re more than capable at your job. I respect that. Iexpectthat same level of professionalism from you while working for us.”

Her face went crimson as she stood up and clasped her hands together. “Of course. I’m sorry, sir.”

“Email me with anything you need for Gracie. When you have her schedule finalized, I’d appreciate a copy of it, as well.” I nodded to the door. “Leave the door open when you leave, please.”

“Yes, sir.” She hurried out and I could hear the sound of her shoes as she went up the stairs, disappearing into the house.

I groaned and pressed my empty glass against my eye sockets. The cool glass felt nice against the headache that was quickly forming. I was going to kick my brothers’ asses. As soon as I found Aggie and figured out what was going through her head.

Then I was going to kick my own ass after I told Aggie we didn’t need her to act as nanny any longer.

38

***Aggie***

“Idon’tknow,Dad.”I sat in my bathroom, hiding from Olivia. It was Sunday, our day off, and despite that, she was all but glued to me. All I wanted in the world was for her to leave me alone. I’d been a hostage in my own room for the third time the night before and then I’d sat across from Zander in the kitchen while he told me that I didn’t need to worry about nannying anymore. “You’re not allowed to say anything to them. Do you understand me? If you mention a single word, I’ll disown you.”

Dad snorted. “I’m just going to ignore that hostile threat. I won’t say anything, though, Ag. I know this is something you have to figure out on your own. I just wish you’d talk to them. Tell them how you feel.”

“And how’s that, Dad?” I was pretty sure my feelings were all negative after getting the boot over breakfast from Zander, in the gentlest way possible. He’d used kid gloves on me, speaking to me like I was younger than Gracie. I’d wanted to stab him in the eye with my fork while he acted as sweet as a spoonful of sugar.

“You want me to explain it to you? Your feelings for those boys? I could, you know. I’m good at it. I just don’t know if you’re ready for that.” He laughed and I could hear the sound of the sliding glass door to his porch opening. “I can tell you’re hurting and angry right now, Aggie, but it sounds like none of you have had more than five seconds to talk to each other since the new nanny showed up. You need to talk to them and figure out what they’re thinking.”

“You want to know what he said to me? He said that Olivia was setting a schedule for Gracie and that it seemed she didn’t need my help anymore. Then, and I swear on your silver hair, he looked me dead in the eye and said that I could use the last couple of days of my nannying job to get some sun.” I lowered my voice after having raised it to shout that last part. “Like I’m some sun bunny who just exists for tanning by their pool. Did he mention another job? No. Of course, not. Why hire me for the job I’m perfect for when he can just fire me from the one I apparently suck at?”

“Talk to them, Ag. That’s all I can tell you. I never got the impression that they were ready to send you packing.” Dad’s voice trailed off as he spoke to someone in the background. When he came back on the line, he was distracted. “Sorry, sweetheart, but Mick just showed up with his tractor. We’re going to clear our that back few acres.”

I rested my head on my knees and resisted the urge to keep him on the phone with me. “Okay, Dad. Have fun. Tell Mick I say hello.”

“Love you, kid. Talk to your fellas.” Before he hung up, I heard him shout. “Scoot says hello!”

I stayed in the bathtub for a little while longer, having an existential crisis. Dad made it sound so easy. Just talk to the guys. No big deal, it was just talking. Except it was talking about emotional stuff and I was scared of the outcome. I knew it was pathetic that I couldn’t just have a conversation with the men I’d been sleeping with for a month. I’d let them do things to me that were probably illegal in some places, yet talking about my feelings seemedwaytoo far out there to even try it.

The sad truth was that I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay with them, not as their nanny, but as their person. I wanted it so deeply that it was like my very bones were attempting to settle into the house. I felt so heavy and defeated. Monroe had never made me feel such large emotions. He didn’t make me feel anything. He’d been safe, like all the men I’d been with before. He'd made me angry, but so did people who merged too slowly. The things I was feeling for Zander, Knight, and Kyrin were things I’d never felt for another soul. I wanted them so much that I almost wanted to punch them for making me feel that way.

I thought they were on the same page. I thought they cared enough to want more. There I was, though, coming up on the end of my month with them, and nothing had changed. They still didn’t believe in me enough to offer me the job. They didn’t want me as their person. They seemed fine to say goodbye and move on.

Dad’s voice in my head was just as annoying as when it wasn’t in my head. I could hear him saying that I’d never know if I didn’t talk to them. I had nothing to lose.

Another voice spoke up. I had my dignity and sanity to lose. All my strength felt superficial when it came to emotional things. I was like a newborn baby, as helpless as they came. At least, that’s how it felt.

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