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I canted my head to the side. That could not possibly be true. Candy canes did not grow on trees.
His face broke into a teasing grin. “How are you feeling?”
“Better, thank you. It wasn’t much silver. I didn’t thank you for coming to Alaska.” Physically, at least. On the inside, I had to keep beating the despair back under the bed.
“You don’t have to thank me. You’re family.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I struggled for a few heartbeats against the wretched knot of emotions in my chest. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t make the next seven months a pre-emptive funeral, and I’d save the grief and self-flagellation for later, but damn, it was hard. “I still want to thank you. And for having my pack here. I’m sure they’ve been… a bit of a headache.”
“Oh, I’ve known Burian for years. He’s the troubled little stray we throw food at occasionally. And the other two are fine. Cerys loves to cook, so having Cye around makes her happy, and Jun crafts a hell of a workout. And there’s plenty for them to do around the property. You don’t object to me using them as cheap labor, eh?”
“Not at all,” I said, still bewildered by the conversation and waiting for him to death-roll me.
Garrett leaned against the mantle. Firelight moved over the shadows caused by the age on his face. He studied me and once more reminded me of an alligator drifting along a lazy river. His thick fingers drummed the wood once, twice. “You remind me a lot of Cerys and Sterling when I first met them. You almost had me fooled. Cerys was sharp, Sterling was menacing. Those are easy defensive mechanisms to identify. You’re self-possessed, but a little prodding, and it’s easy to find the bruises.”
“What bruises?” I felt my brows knit together. He wasn’t talking about the bruises that had mostly faded to green stains.
“The ones that happen when someone stops feeling safe, loved, like they matter, what they want matters, or what they deserve figures into anyone’s plans. When love and trust only last as long as you’re useful, and you aren’t the one who decides what ‘useful’ means.”
The words plunked into my soul like coins thrown into an empty fountain’s pool. “Why are you telling me this?”
“So we understand each other.”
“I definitely am not understanding. I am about to get your son killed, not to put too fine a point on it.”
Garrett shrugged. “He knew what he signed up for when he decided to wear his fur, when he decided to get on that plane, when he decided to growl. I’ll put it another way. I believe your Gaia said to me, human, this is your son.”
“Yes?” I said, still bewildered by what the human was getting at.
“I know wolves don’t really do adoptions, so I want you to try to understand where I stand with my son. I’m not Cerys’ mate, but Sterling is my son. The biology doesn’t matter to me.”
“Yes,” I agreed, still bewildered.
“So you’re his mate. Means you’re the other half of his soul. That’s what he believes too. You two were always a package deal, you just hadn’t shipped in yet. Gaia told me human, this is your son, and now that you’re here, it means and look after this one too.”
This one too.
Cerys came out of the kitchen with a flour-covered apron on. She dusted off her hands. “Dinner will be soon. Go shower, Garrett. You smell like the barn. And tell the others on your way.”
“That I smell like the barn?”
“You know what I meant, you old goat.”
Her voice was gentle and fond, and from Garrett’s smile and scent, he enjoyed Cerys’ good-natured chiding. He held up his hands as if to say yes, ma’am, yes ma’am, and sauntered out of the living room, the scent of horses and total satisfaction trailing behind him.
Cerys came to stand next to me by the fire. We stared at the flames for a minute, and I broke the silence with the only thing I could think to say to her. “I’m sorry.”
Her fingers twisted together. The scent of MoonDark and grief mingled with the scent of the burning wood. “He showed us the video. We’ve all seen what they did to you.”
“I should have left sooner,” I said, unwilling to let myself be blameless. Silver didn’t change that the whole thing could have been avoided. I should have ditched Spring the instant I got what I’d needed. I should have shut up and crawled away when the Beta had given me the chance.
“But silver,” Cerys said quietly, like she couldn’t believe it herself, and felt lost in the face of senseless horror.
But silver.
“Do you think he can beat Alan? Garrett doesn’t appreciate the difference between a wolf like Alan, and a wolf like Sterling. The years of experience in war-form. Sterling doesn’t have that.”
I fought around the lump in my throat. “Alan’s going to underestimate Sterling. They all think he’s a hybrid city-bred. Cerys, tell me the truth, and I don’t care if he is or isn’t, because he’s my mate, but is he?”
