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‘You were right. What’s important is the life that both of us can work towards to make sure our child has the best possible start. If that means...’ Her voice trailed off.
‘If that means sacrificing our personal chance for real happiness and everlasting love with someone else, then so be it?’
Maude shrugged. Her eyes were welling up.
‘This isn’t the time for this conversation,’ she said unhappily. ‘I don’t know why we’re having it. I... I’ve already thought about this and made my mind up, come to terms with it, and I’m not unhappy.’
But neither was she happy. The only thing that could make her happy was the one thing he couldn’t give her.
‘Maybe I’m the one with the second thoughts,’ Mateo said quietly and this time her eyes widened and she drew in a sharp breath.
She had not expected this.
Shock and misery tore into her in equal measure as she realised in a flash that she had misread everything.
She’d concluded that Mateo was the commitment-phobe who had no interest in ever settling down, whose heart was buried under layers of ice, but maybe that was before he’d realised the enormity of becoming a father.
Had that shown him that love was more important than he had ever imagined? Had he made the case for the business arrangement where everything slotted in nicely, papering over the fact that he didn’t love her, presuming that she didn’t love him either, only to gradually realise that, for a true family unit to stand a chance, feelings had to be part of it? That love had to be part of it?
Hadshebeen the one to come to terms with the sacrifices he mentioned only for him to gradually come round toherpoint of view? The unfairness of that hit her like a punch in the stomach.
‘What do you mean?’ she questioned jaggedly.
‘I think,’ Mateo said in a low voice, ‘that we need to spill the beans about our little charade that got out of hand. You were right, Maude. You...we...can very happily make a go of bringing up a child without, as you so graphically put it, being shackled together, sacrificing all chances of finding real, lasting,lovinghappiness with someone else.’
‘I don’t think I put it quite like that...’ She drew in a shaky breath and tried for a smile, before continuing. ‘You’re saying that you’ve decided that you’re ready to fall in love now?’ She loosed a brittle laugh. ‘I thought you were adamant that that sort of thing wasn’t for you.’
Mateo shrugged. ‘I guess you must be wondering about the things we discussed. The cottage...living there... Maude, the cottage is yours, unless you have any objections.’
Maude realised that she didn’t want the cottage. She didn’t want anything but Mateo. She had dug her heels in and turned him away when he had first proposed. He didn’t love her, would never love her, and she had stuck her chin in the air and rejected what he had offered because it hadn’t fitted in with the picture of the ideal dream life she had painted for herself.
Then she’d seen sense, but now he was the one turning away, and it showed her just how bleak and unforgiving the very future she’d originally demanded looked in the cold light of day.
She might have felt sad when she’d done her comparisons with what she was going to have and what her parents had, what Amy and Nick had, but the sadness she felt now was without compare.
Not that she could turn back.
‘Let’s go talk to your parents, Maude.’ He smiled. ‘It’s what you wanted, isn’t it? So now I’m going to make it real for you...’
CHAPTER TEN
FROMOUTSIDE,Maude could hear the buzz of voices and laughter.
Holiday anecdotes were being exchanged. Voices were talking over one another and there was lots of laughter, teasing and the thrum of a happy family life, the very family life she had longed for and was now saying goodbye to.
Next to her, Mateo’s purposeful stride filled Maude with suffocating panic, but what on earth could she say? That she’d had a change of heart? That she loved him and would take him at any price?
In short, push him into a trap when he had now discovered that there might just be something more rewarding out there for him?
How proud she’d been! How determined to dig her heels in because things hadn’t been perfect!
She pushed open the kitchen door to four faces that turned, beaming, in their direction.
‘Mum.’ She cleared her throat. Some of her unhappiness must have been mirrored on her face because the smiles dropped and she could see concern replace the laughter.
‘What’s the matter, darling?’
‘We should have been honest with you from the beginning.’ Mateo stepped in to take over, giving Maude a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder before swerving round to pull out a chair at the kitchen table, which he nodded to Maude to take so that he could stand behind her, his hands resting on the back of the chair while everyone stared at them in confused silence.
