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“What are you thinking about?” he asked softly. In those moments, he’d been studying my face. Jude knew how to read me so well; who knew what he might have seen?
But there was another thought too—a curiosity we hadn’t yet tried, and the adrenaline rush of victory and the sugar rush of the cupcake made me brave enough to ask. “By now, I’m sure you’ve seen enough to know I read a lot of books.”
He leaned forward, placing a hand on either side of me on the bed, caging me in. “Mm-hmm.”
It was hard to think when he was so close and looking at me like that. “Some of them had…what we do. And I never thought I’d like it, but I do, and—”
“You can say it, sweetheart. Don’t be nervous.”
I took a shaky breath. I was nervous. “I just wanted to try something, and it’s easier to show you.”
Jude looked curious, but he didn’t say anything or move as I scooted myself to the side of the bed, wiggled off…
Then dropped onto my knees in front of him.
His eyebrows rose into his hairline, but he didn’t look upset. No, he looked hungry. Looking up at Jude from down here was like looking up at a skyscraper. He went on forever, and every inch of him was mine.
Jude reached for me like it was an instinct, hand cradling my face and tucking his fingers under my chin to make sure I was looking straight at him. “What are you doing down there?”
My whole body flushed pink. His attention, the way he looked down at me, even his hand on my face while I was down here on my knees, hands locked behind my back…
The rightness of it made me shake. It felt like my whole body was glowing under Jude’s sun and I was a flower blooming solely for him.
“I see.” He brushed my bottom lip with his thumb slowly, sensually.
“I don’t understand it.”
“Do you need to?”
I swallowed and leaned into his hand. “I don’t know.”
Jude looked at me for long moments. “Stay there, and don’t move.”
He went downstairs and was back in less than two minutes with a bag in his hands. “Close your eyes. I brought something, but I wasn’t planning on it tonight. It’ll only take a couple minutes. Are you comfortable?”
“Yes.”
I closed my eyes, listening to the vague sound of shuffling and plastic being unwrapped. Not a condom, though, something else. The bed moved a little, and there was a clinking and rustling, but whatever he’d just done, I had no idea.
“You can open your eyes.”
He was in the middle of pulling off his shirt when I did, drawing my attention to all of him. Watching Jude was like watching a masterpiece being unveiled piece by piece. He even put on a condom while I watched, still kneeling.
Fully naked now, he helped me up, making sure I was steady. He unlocked one of my hands and not the other before peeling layers off me. My shirt, bra, and jeans all hit the floor, and with every movement, he touched me. Brushing across my skin, making me jump. “You’re still nervous?”
“I don’t know.”
“Don’t be. Hands?” Jude locked them in front of me this time, pushing my underwear off my hips and lifting me out of them. He laid me in the middle of the bed, and I had a wash of déjà vu from when we first did this, my hands above my head. We’d used handcuffs before, but not quite like this.
There was a soft click, and suddenly I couldn’t move my hands from where they were stretched above me. My eyes went wide. “What?”
“You don’t have an easy place to attach my favorite accessory,” Jude said with a grin. “So, I bought one. It’s a set of straps that go under the mattress. I can put you anywhere I like.”
I shuddered, relaxing into the feeling. This, I liked. The last time he’d told me to keep my hands above my head, it was all I could think about, trying not to move them. If I didn’t have to think about it, I could focus on nothing but him.
Jude placed a kiss directly in the center of my chest, easing himself between my hips and entering me slowly. So slowly, it was deliciously agonizing, until he was settled deep inside, pinning me down with his body. He brushed the hair off my face. “Let’s talk.”
“Now?” I blinked at him, not fully coherent when I was surrounded and impaled by him.
