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5
Frank
“Ican definitely see you making clothes. You were always the best dressed in town.”
She waved me off. It was getting pretty clear that Amber had had enough. She’d probably had enough two drinks ago, so when I said something about it, she just told me I didn't know what I was talking about.
“Maybe not, but it looks like you hold your liquor about the same as you used to. Remember when we got some beer from my dad and took it on your grandpa's roof?”
Amber agreed. “Yeah, I remember. I guess I wasn't the only one that had trouble holding down my alcohol. That would have been horrible. I remember being so scared when you almost fell off.”
“When you pulled me back up, I think that was the first time that you kissed me.”
Amber nodded, and she had that smile on her face, the one that made me want to kiss her again. How long had it been since I’d seen it and heard the tinkling sound of her laughter? Whatever the answer was, I knew for sure it had been too long. Even though I had thought about her the last ten years, I don't think I quite understood how much I had missed her.
At some point when I wasn’t around her for so long, even when I replayed the moments that I had with her over and over again in my mind, something was lost through the years. The memory faded and the feelings that I had, started to fade as well. While I knew that I missed her and I wanted to see her again, my brain had played a trick on me, somehow helping me to forget just how great she really was. Maybe it was for my own good. Maybe I would have missed her even more, and it would have changed the trajectory of things. Maybe I should have.
All of this was running through my head as I was sitting across the table from Amber. The next moment, the table was too large of a space between us. How badly I wanted to kiss her, wondering if it would feel the same as it had before. Had I forgotten that feeling as well? Had it changed just like everything else?
She got this look on her face while we were talking about the past, and for a minute, I recognized it well. She wanted me. The only problem was that she was too drunk. There was no way that we could do anything, at least not tonight.
Amber had decided at some point that I was the new mark and she was smiling at me in that way she had. It was impossible not to smile with her. It was the smile of a devil, though. I was sure of it.
“Come on, Frank. Are you going to tell me that you never thought about it, all that time we were together, and you didn't wonder what it would be like if we had done more on my grandfather’s roof? I always thought that we would have been together if you had been there the next summer. All year I had been working up the courage to be with you. I had this perfect nightgown that I thought was going to entice you. I had all these big plans for us, and then you were gone.”
I felt like she was telling me more than she wanted to tell me, and her sober self would probably be very upset with her loose tongue in the morning. It actually was a good thing, though, as far as I was concerned. I'd been so worried about what I had felt for her being one way. It wouldn't have taken away my feelings, but it would have been harder to face her knowing that she didn't feel the same way, and I had spent the last decade thinking of somebody who hadn't even thought of me. I think that would have been the worst feeling ever.
It wasn't the case, though. She had thought about me and now she wanted us to finally be together. It was something that we had talked about a lot, but I hadn't felt like she was ready back then. I had been with a few girls, but she was still a virgin. I didn't want to be that guy that had pressured her into something. Now, I didn't want to be that guy, again, knowing that she had drunk several beers and shot several shots. Things may have changed, but I doubt that her capacity for drinking had changed that much.
“I wanted to come back. Really, I did. My parents made it so that I was gone almost every summer after that. I think a part of it was my father wanted to keep me busy. He was sure that I was going to get with the wrong crowd and ruin my future.”
“Yeah, I remember. He told me once or twice that he thought I was a bad influence on you and that you shouldn't be wasting your time with me.”
That shocked me.
“Are you serious?”
I never knew.
She told me that she was and explained a little bit more about the situation. I was quite astonished that he would have said anything like that, but I didn't put it past him in the least bit. He had no problem putting his two cents in, and even now as an adult, he did it. It was easy to imagine that he would have tried to push his agenda so much when I was younger. Half of the reason I'd gone into the military was to get away from his heavy-handed dreams for my life.
“I can't believe he'd say that to you. I'm sure that it was the other way around. I was the one that would come to your grandpa's house and get you to come outside and sneak out with me.”
“You weren't that bad of an influence on me. We never even got to second base.”
It was about the third time she had brought up sex in the last ten minutes. I was starting to think that she was having a one-track brain, and I couldn't blame her. How many times had I thought about it before I had seen her at the funeral? Why else would I have brought her here for a drink? As a teenager in love, it had been enough to stare at the moon and talk about the future, but we weren't those young kids, anymore, and the future wasn’t near as bright as we thought it would be. I know for me, personally, reality had to set in at some point.
“I just thought we were too young.”
“We were pretty much the same age. You weren't that much older than me.”
“Yeah, but let's just say I was more mature.”
Amber scoffed and leaned toward me. “I would have never said that you were more mature than me, Frank. You had just been around more. I had to go to that private school, and everything was kind of kept from me from that world. But you were certainly out in it. I remember all the girls that would give me dirty looks at the beach. They all wanted you, even when you were tall and lanky. I'm sure they can't get enough of you now.”
While she was right in some respect, I had had my share of women in the past, but things were different now. As soon as Amber came back into my life, I knew that everything was going to change. I wasn't even thinking about those other girls. I had eyes for only one, and she leaned over for a kiss. I didn't stop it. I should have, knowing that she had been drinking the way she had, but I guess I wasn't as good of a man as I thought I was. The only credit I can give myself, was the insanely hard act of pulling away when it was getting to me, and she whimpered and instantly turned me on.
“We can’t do this, Amber. I can’t. You’re drunk. You are so innocent. Are you still a virgin?”
