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10
Amber
Ispent most of the day trying to find something wrong with Frank. He was just too perfect, and I wanted to think that there was obviously something I was missing. For some reason, I didn't want him to be the perfect guy that he had always been. After having sex with him, though, I was starting to worry that he actually was. I thought that he might have been just as damn perfect as I remembered, maybe even more so. Now as a man, it was hard to deny that every part of me wanted to give in to every part of him.
We walked the river that cut through the park, taking our time winding along with it on the bank. We found our old spot and even the etched names that was in the wood of the picnic table we sat on. I couldn't believe that it was still there, but like everything here, it seemed to remind the person that the past was ever present. I tried to believe that all I had to do was stay here with him. Why would I leave? For a moment, I seriously couldn't think of the answer to that. I knew there was a reason, but none of them seemed like very good ones.
“So, Frank, you listen to me rattle on about my clothing line and France. When are you going to tell me what you have been doing all this time? And don't tell me you've been sitting here waiting for me. As much as my ego likes the idea of it, we both know that it's not true. What's been going on with you?”
It was more of a general statement, but really I was wondering about his love life. I was trying to figure out how a man that could make me come like that, was ever single. I would think that every woman that he went to bed with, would beg for him to stay in the bed as long as possible. It was hard to imagine anyone giving up that feeling. I had only had it a few times, and I was already trying to think of ways to keep him with me. How could there not be ten other women ready to scratch out my eyes at any moment for even looking at him? As crazy as it sounded, it didn't make any sense to me.
“Nothing really. I am not so wild, anymore. I am not like I used to be. I guess that just goes away with age.”
“Wild? You sound like you’ve been living like a monk. What would make you change so much?”
He got this funny look on his face and asked me why I thought it had to be something that made him change.
I told him that was easy enough. He had loved to party more than probably anybody else that I ever knew. People could change, but to change so drastically, did not make any sense. There had to be some kind of catalyst.
“Let's just say that a good friend of mine made some really bad choices and watching him royally mess up his life, made me realize that I needed to grow up.”
“And have you?”
He shrugged and said that he liked to believe that he had.
“Well, I might have to thank this friend of yours one day. It looks like because of them you are now a reformed player. I don't think it gets much better than that.”
“I would have never considered myself a player.”
“Trust me, Frank, the way you make love to a woman, that has to come with a lot of practice.”
I kind of laughed when he started to stutter, like I was going to get upset or something. I wasn't. I was truly thankful for whoever had taught him the ways of a woman, because quite frankly, they had taught him well. I couldn't even imagine ever having sex any other way. He was all I needed, apparently.
“I am not saying it as a bad thing. I'm being serious. I have never come like that before. There is some kind of magic you got going on, and I'm just glad that you learned from someone.”
He cocked his head to the side and told me that I was being weird again. It wasn’t the first time that I heard it, and I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be the last, either.
“Call me weird if you want, but it's the truth.”
I gave him a kiss, and even though I hadn't meant for it to go anywhere, it quickly became quite clear that I was not going to be able to stop what was already in play. His hands on my body was the only answer that I needed. The rest of it, we could worry about that later. I fell into his arms again and this time, I didn't even try to stop the fall. Why did I have to? When everything felt so right, why did I have to pretend that it was even a question?
I didn't want to think about anything. I just wanted to feel. Frank was next to me, beside me, and then quickly inside of me. That was all that mattered and the rest I could figure out later. That's what I told myself, anyway. I didn't know if I believed that, but it sounded good in theory.
I thinkI was legitimately having one of the best weeks of my life. Everything just clicked with me and Frank. It was so easy to be around him. It was like we had never separated. We started dating again, going out like we did that summer. I don't know why, but I ignored everything, didn't even find my phone, and I was okay with it. I wasn't worried about the outside world. I wasn't concerned with Paris and Chicago. All I was worried about was spending some time with Frank. It felt like we owed it to ourselves, considering we had waited so long.
Every day it was like a gift and I was not going to waste it. We did all sorts of things together, and we were around each other twenty-four seven. It was different, but I don't think I could have played it out better in my mind.
It had been a week that we had been staying at my grandfather’s house. Since the place held so many memories, I really didn't mind, but then I wanted to know why we never went to his place. When I said something about it, he got defensive, and it made me think that there was a reason for it.
Part of me just wanted to let it go. It was obvious, for whatever reason, that he did not want to share that information. I should have just let it go. We were having the perfect time, and if it wasn't bothering me so much, I’d like to think that I really would have let it go. I fear that maybe I wouldn't have.
“Well, if you don't want to go to your place now, maybe we can stay there tonight. I mean it's not like I haven't already seen the place.”
He made a noncommittal sound and again I could not understand why he acted the way he did. Of course, the first thing that came to my head was that he was hiding something. Why else would he refuse to take me back to his place? It was fishy and I wanted to know why. How could I enjoy our time together, when there was something always in the back of my head wondering?
“So, you want to stay here tonight?”
I was expecting him to say yes, that had been the way things had gone thus far. When he told me no, I didn't know how to react.
