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6
Amber
Iwas completely mortified. As soon as I woke up, I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't in the bed I was supposed to be in. I had a hangover that was really horrible, so it took me a minute to fully get myself together. Once I realized that Frank was next to me, I immediately looked to see if we had clothes on. He did, although his shirt was off, and I took far more time than I should have looking at his rippled abs and huge biceps. That was definitely something different about Frank. He had never been so big before, so manly.
I couldn't focus on that right now, not when the conversation that we had the night before and the way I had been acting came to mind. I can't even think about it without feeling mortified. Once all that came back, I realized I had to get out of there. There was no way that I was going to be able to face him this morning. Not after everything that happened and everything that I had said. I think at some point he had asked me if I was still a virgin.
It was just so embarrassing. As stealthily as I possibly could, I got out of the bed and wobble-walked toward the front door. Somehow, I remembered the layout of the place, even though it was new to me. Some parts of the night I wish I could forget but getting out of there without running into something in the predawn hours, definitely came in handy.
He had given me a ride there, but it wasn't that far from the funeral home. That's where my car was, and I walked over there in ten or fifteen minutes. My head was pounding, but I tried to ignore it. Instead, I was searching my memory for anything that would explain what happened. Why had I shamelessly thrown myself at Frank? I know that I had thought about him through the years, more than one time for sure, but coming on strong like that had never been my style. Now thinking back, it was just embarrassing, so it was hard to imagine me doing something like that. I knew I had, but I wished I hadn’t.
The more I thought about it, the worse it became. I was really building it up in my mind, and I couldn't believe some of the things I had said. More than that, what kept ringing true over and over again was the fact that not only had I practically thrown myself at Frank, but the truth was he had turned me down. Again.
I was so frustrated as I drove back to my grandad's house. It took me several moments to realize that he wasn’t going to be there when I got there. Such an odd feeling to have, especially after going to his funeral the day before. I knew he was gone, obviously, but right then when I was needing some comfort in familiarity, all it did was make me miss him even more than before.
Sure that all of my plans of staying and turning his place into some kind of fashion house were done with, I had to rethink my whole strategy. How could I stay here now? I was never going to be able to face Frank again. I was too embarrassed. There was no way that I was ever going to see him again. I was just going to have to come back on the weekends and go through his things in my spare time. It was silly to think that I should stay here. I had my whole life in France and Chicago. I was already spread too thin. I didn't need a whole other destination to worry about.
Within about twenty minutes of getting home, I decided that it wasn't going to be my home. Hampton was no longer the place for me. There were too many memories, and obviously, it was messing with my head. I needed to get out of here.
I started to pack up my stuff and I knew deep down that I was running. I was okay with that, though. The idea of facing him was far worse. I could live with wondering and a little bit of regret. I had been doing just fine with it for the last ten years.
I guess in a way, I had always wondered what would happen if I saw him again. There had been many scenarios that had run through my head, though none of them would have included me getting drunk at my grandfather’s funeral and throwing myself at him, only to be turned down.
I could have seen that coming, but that's exactly what happened. It wasn't the answer I wanted, but it was an answer. I was just going to have to live with it. That didn't mean that I needed to stick around and wallow in it, though. I called Gemma, my assistant, and had her book me a flight home.
“You're coming back already?”
I agreed that I was, and I was once again thankful for her ability to read the room or at least the tone of my voice. Instead of asking me why and asking me a bunch of questions that I didn't want to answer, she just told me that it would be taken care of, and I knew that it would be.
“Just make it the earliest one that you can, Gemma, okay? Call me when you get an answer.”
“Okay, boss. It'll be good to have you back. Nothing ever goes right when you're away.”
Her words were all the answer that I needed. Of course, I couldn't just run off and live here. I had responsibilities. I had a life. Why I had been willing to forget about that for this particular man, I guess I would never know.
But you have your answer.I needed to remind myself of that a few more times, until it really sunk in. I didn’t want to believe it, but that’s what had happened. I was just going to have to move on.
The doorbell rang, and I wasn't sure who it was, but I wasn't expecting Frank to be standing there with coffee and donuts.
“I got the white cream eclairs that you like. I bet you haven't had one as good as Sal's in a while.”
I was stunned. This was the breakfast that he had brought me so many times, so long ago. Why was he making this harder than it had to be?
“What are you doing here, Frank?”
He looked at me like I had gotten knocked in the head one too many times.
“I'm bringing you breakfast. Didn’t you hear me about the eclairs?”
“I'm not really a breakfast person, anymore, Frank.”
“Yes, you are. No one turns down Sal’s eclairs. The girl I knew used to love them. Don’t tell me you turned into the girl that is dieting all the time. You look great.”
“Isn't it obvious, Frank, I'm not that girl, anymore?”
He shook his head and smiled. The way that his blue eyes stared so intently into mine made me wonder why he was so happy. Frank was not reading the room.
“No, you’re not a girl, anymore, Amber. You're a woman and you're damn magnificent. I've missed you so much. I am glad that you’re back.”
My heart melted, and even though I was at that very moment packing to leave, he was saying all the right things that made me never want to go. Damn it. Why did Frank have this hold on me?
