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21
Betty
Listening to Nick helped me to relax. It was the same guy that I had met that first night, and he was the same guy that I had fallen for the next few days. I was still trying to figure out where Nick came from. It was just out of the blue and right on time. One minute, I had been hating the fact that I had to come to Montana, being dragged here because of my dad's business, but then the next moment, I could see why my mother was so in love with the place. I don't know if it was for the same reason, but my reason was Nick.
Now I was full of anxiety, but it wasn't because I was worried about what Nick was going to think. He had reacted just fine, but now I was worried about what was going to happen next. There was still this desire that I had for him and it worried me. What if I was unable to tell him no? I was already to the point where I didn't want to tell him no. He had made me feel so good the other day and I knew that there was so much more that he could do. That is what I was afraid of, not being able to say no to the pleasure.
At some point, I can't even tell you when, I had fallen for him and the idea of having sex with him was one that I had come to grips with. I knew that I wanted him, and he wanted me, and all I had to do was say so. I'm sure that Nick would have been more than happy to help me.
As much as I thought about it and figured that I even wanted it, there was another side of me that just couldn't. There was so much that I didn't understand and I didn't know.
The second set seemed to stream by, whereas waiting for the first one had felt like forever. I don't know why, but the seven or eight songs that he played were through in just a matter of moments. I was not happy about that at all. My anxiety was at full steam and of course, all I wanted was a few more minutes to think it through. How was I ever going to think straight, when he was right there, making my heart slam and skip a beat?
Maybe it would be best to just get it over with. Obviously, I wasn't going to be able to think until whatever this was between us was at an end. Nick was back down, smiling at me and asking me if I liked the new song. I didn't want to tell him that I hadn't heard it, but that was the truth. I had been far too stuck in my head to think of anything else. I certainly hadn't heard a song.
“I don't remember hearing it.”
“Really? It was about you. It even had your name in it.”
That made me laugh and he kind of looked at me a little stranger than before. Apparently, I wasn't supposed to laugh about it, but, of course, he would sing me a song that I never heard. That sounded about right.
“Maybe you will sing it to me later?”
He agreed that it could definitely happen, and I asked him if he wanted to get a drink. I was still nervous about how this was all supposed to work out and I was trying to just take his lead. The problem was that I think he was doing the same thing understandably, which made it just this weird awkward mess. I don't even know how else to describe it.
“If that's what you want. We can do anything you want to do.”
I knew immediately why he was being like that. I had run off before and he didn't want to upset me again. It was little things like that which made it hard to not fall for Nick. He was just that sort of guy.
“Why don't we just stay here and dance for a little while? They got some slower music coming on and I don't know, I think it would be nice. Do you dance?”
Well, he said that he didn't dance, but he also agreed to at the same time, so that told me that he probably could, he just didn't want to admit it. I was sure that Nick had many hidden talents that I wasn't quite privy to, not yet anyway.
The problem with that was the temptation. Not only would it be somebody that I had fallen for head over heels, but I had a feeling that making love to Nick would be amazing, just because he had so much experience. Never once did the idea of him knowing what he was doing ever bother me. I didn't want to be with a guy that was a virgin like me. I wanted somebody that would know how to touch me in all the right ways, and I had a feeling that was Nick.
We went to the dance floor, and I really had not thought it through. He was pulling me up against him and I could feel his hard body against mine. There was no way that we could do this without being completely turned on, wondering what else he could do with other parts of his body. I had already learned what his mere fingers could do. Imagine the rest of him. The hard body that mine molded up against told me that it would be more than a little overwhelming. Everything about this guy screamed that he was too much and even the sure way that he held me around the waist, told me that he knew exactly what he was doing. Why did the idea of that make me shake so much?
“You're really quiet tonight, Betty. Penny for your thoughts?”
I shook my head and told him that he probably didn't want to know what I was thinking.
“I want to know every thought. For the first time that I can remember, I want to get to know everything about you.”
“And you've never felt that way before?”
He insisted that he hadn't, and I wondered how true his words were. Had I not witnessed time and time again, a man saying anything and everything to get his way? Usually when his way was getting in a woman’s panties, it was hard to believe such things. And like everything sweet and divine, I wanted to believe it, and I really didn't think that I could. There was so much that I didn't know and didn't understand. He made me feel all sorts of new feelings, and I really didn’t like the idea that he was going through the same cognitive dissonance as well.
“Well, then, we’re in the same boat. I haven't felt this way before either.”
It was an admission that I hadn't planned on making, but for some reason it just came out of me. Maybe I didn't want him to feel like he was alone.
Maybe I just wanted to say it out loud.
“That is good to know, Betty, because I think you're going to be the death of me. It would be better to know that at least you feel something, too.”
When he said things like that, I didn't know how to take it. There was, of course, a hard body pressed against me to sidetrack my every thought and this man that said all the right things at all the right times. How was a woman supposed to trust that?
Eventually the music stopped, and I didn't want the feeling to stop that had taken over me. He just felt amazing. Really amazing.
