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“But—” Her face fell, and she looked away. “I can’t do it.”
I sat up on my elbows. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not…” she trembled as she searched for the right word, “good anymore. I can’t do any of the things a beta does—”
“That’s not true!” Interrupting her wasn’t part of the plan, but Tavi was saying things about herself that I couldn’t let slide. “What does a beta do? They watch over and counsel the Alpha, they protect the Alpha and the pack, and they can step in if ever the Alpha isn’t capable of serving. They have to be someone the Alpha can trust implicitly. We just talked about how much I appreciated you when we talked to Tyrell.”
She looked away, so I went on.
“Tavi, remember that you sought me out when I was staying at Violet’s cabin. You protected me and watched over me when I was getting to know the other Wargs. You always made time for me, even though we hadn’t known each other very long. When we were captured by Troy, you were the strong one, you—”
“Stop!” Her voice became a sharp growl as her teeth sharpened to wolf points. “I said I can’t do it!”
I flinched despite myself.
As the echo of her words launched birds into flight, she put her hands to her face, her shoulders shaking.
I reached for her, but the moment my hand touched her shoulder, she flinched away. “Tavi—”
“See, Bryn?” she said. “I can’t even have a conversation like a normal person. How the fuck could I protect you from anything when you had to step in when I pissed off that asshole at Tyrell’s cabin?” She shook her head. “How could I give you any advice when I snap at you like that?” Tears poured down her reddened cheeks, and her eyes glowed as she looked at me beseechingly. “I’m no good anymore.”
“Tavi, you are!”
But she shook her head and got to her feet. “Frankie would be a better choice. She’s strong and capable. Or, hell, even your mother would be a good option. Who would stop you?”
I hopped to my feet as Tavi turned her back to me. My instincts were telling me that at any moment, she would bolt for the trees. There was no telling whether she would head back to the Kings’ compound or to the Wargs’ compound or if she would just go into the forest and I would never see her again. I couldn’t let that happen.
When her muscles tensed to run, I jumped on her back, wrapping my legs and arms around her and holding fast. She stumbled under my weight, but she was stronger and larger than me so she quickly regained her balance.
“Get off!” She clawed at my arm. It hurt, but the scratches weren’t deep; they’d heal without a scar before I met with the Elders.
She tried to buck me off, but I held fast. If she really wanted to, she could throw me to the trees or claw through skin and muscle down to my arms, but she didn’t do either of those things. Instead, she yelled and scratched and jerked around, but because she didn’t want to really injure me; that was as far as her attempts went.
After a little while of this, the fight left her. She stumbled until her shoulder hit one of the trees, and her body shook. “Bryn, please…” she said through a warbling voice. “Please.”
I slowly let her go. When my feet hit the ground, I took a step back, tears filling my own eyes. “I—I’m sorry, Tavi. I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that, but I couldn’t think of anything—”
Tavi turned to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. She held me tightly and buried her face in my shoulder. She let out these long, heartbreaking sobs, her tears soaking into the shoulder of my shirt. I held her back just as fiercely, gripping handfuls of her shirt, letting her cry as long and as hard as she wanted.
When her body-quaking sobs finally subsided, she stepped back, wiping her face with her sleeves. The left side of my shirt was damp with tears, but that didn’t matter to me. All I cared about was making sure that she was okay.
“Screw whatever I thought before,” I said, rage quickly replacing my sorrow. “If those assholes are still fucking with you, I’ll send all of the men who helped Troy down in the cells with him. I don’t care what the pack has to say or who it is—”
“No!” She shook her head, spraying tears. “Don’t do that.”
“Why not?” I demanded.
“Because you’ll hurt your image!” she cried. “You’re already on thin enough ice as it is, and…and anyway, it won’t make me feel better, Bryn. If you do that, whatever you hoped to accomplish at the meeting with the council will fail, and…and these Kings will hate you even more, and I-I won’t have that o-on my conscience!”
It’s worth all of that if I can make your hurt go away! But I bit back what I wanted to tell her. I wasn’t thinking; it wasn’t my place to make her feel any responsibility or guilt or whatever. I couldn’t put that on her shoulders.
“Tavi,” I began, my voice a bit raspy, “what did they do to you?”
She shook her head, still wiping tears. “I’m not—not ready to s-say,” she said through hiccups. “It was awful, but I just can’t.”
I nodded. “I won’t ask you anything more about it. I want to be here for you, I want to lend an ear when you need it, but I will never, ever make you talk about whatever it was.” I clenched my hands when they trembled. “I’m sorry I said all that stuff about imprisoning those men. I just—”
“No, no, it’s okay.” She lowered her sleeves and looked at me. “It makes me a little happy to know that you would risk so much just for me.”
