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I was trapped with him.
I’d married a monster.
29
When I woke up the next morning, it was to a brisk series of knocks at the door of the king’s chambers. I was asleep in his immense bed, but there was no indentation on the mattress next to me, nor any trace of the king’s scent on the sheets. He’d never come to bed at all.
Last night, my exhaustion had overwhelmed my turmoil and I’d passed out nearly as soon as I’d hit the mattress beneath me. I’d never expected the king to give up his quarters to me though. It made my chest ache.
I pulled my robe back on and stepped out into the main quarters to answer the door. Amity and Rue were on the other side, cheerful as ever despite the early hour. “Good morning, Your Highness,” Amity said brightly.
“Wow,” I murmured. “Can we stick with Lady Reyna? At least until I’m a little more used to it?”
“Sure,” Rue said. “This is a big change. I think you’ll love it, though.”
I nodded. She had no idea how wrong she was. But, at least with Amity and Rue with me, it’d be a bit more bearable than it would be alone.
“Since the king is in his early meeting with his advisors,” Amity said, “the Lady Glennis thought this would be a good time for you to get settled. We’ll arrange your new quarters and have breakfast there.”
“My new quarters,” I repeated. I was still waking up. But of course, I’d have new quarters. I couldn’t stay in the guest quarters now that I was queen.
I invited the girls inside, and they walked briskly toward a door at the edge of the main quarters, on the same wall as the one to the king’s bedroom. I hadn’t paid it any mind before, assuming it was to a study, or a closet. But Amity fit a key into the door, and then pushed it opened and welcomed me inside.
“The queen’s quarters,” she said. “It shares a door with the king’s, of course, so you’re never too far apart. But when you are not with the king, this space is yours alone. Rue and I have been decorating it for days—I do hope it suits your taste.”
Irritation rose like bile in my throat. It wasn’t my handmaidens’ fault, they’d been nothing but kind to me. But did I get no choice in any of this at all? No one had even asked me what I might like for my own private quarters. And now all my private things had been moved without my permission. I realized it’d been done to ease my transition into my new role, but just once I wanted someone to ask me if it was okay. Just once.
The last thing I was going to do was take that out on my handmaidens, though.
“Oh, wow,” I said as I stepped into the room. “You did a wonderful job, both of you.”
I meant it, despite my frustrations. The room was beautiful. It was one big room, with the sleeping area separated by a tall, elegant dressing screen decorated in a forest scene. The walls were papered in pale blue, decorated with elegant pale flowers shimmering faintly in the dim light. The hearth was pale stone with a plush white couch and gold accent table stacked with books. The door to the king’s chambers was beside the hearth. Behind the dressing screen, the bed was a sleigh style, with blue sheets and a white comforter. It was colorful, but cozy.
“You like it?” Rue asked quietly, shifting her weight foot to foot.
“It’s gorgeous,” I said. “I really do like it. Thank you both for working so hard on this.”
Both girls bit back their grins. Amity bounced on the balls of her feet. “There’s more, milady,” she said.
“More?”
Opposite the door to the king’s room, there was another, narrower door. I’d assumed it was the ensuite, but it was more than that. It was the ensuite bathroom as well as a large walk-in closet, and a vanity with a fine lacquer box on top of it. All my clothes had already been moved into the closet, and my trunk closed and set in the back.
“These all belong to you as well,” Rue said. She opened the lacquer box gently. Inside, it was filled with jewelry: fine rings, delicate pearls, golden earrings and ruby bracelets. Some matched, some didn’t. “This isn’t all of it, either,” she said. “There’s more in other boxes in the drawers. These are the queen’s jewels. The king has been collecting them for his bride since he was young. Aren’t they beautiful?” Rue sighed dreamily.
“It’s so romantic,” Amity agreed. “He’s been wanting a bride for so long. We’re all just so happy for you both.”
I hummed in affirmation and traced my finger over the edge of the lacquer box. I couldn’t muster up the strength to agree in words, or to say anything different. Better to let the girls maintain their fantasy of who the king was.
“Now,” Amity said, “after breakfast, there’s the official sendoff for your father and escort. Would you prefer to wear the colors of Daybreak or of Nightfall?”
Neither, I wanted to scream. I didn’t want to be relegated to representing the men in my life. I wanted something of my own. I wanted to be my own person for once, instead of a prize for the men to fight over.
“I’ll wear something simple,” I said. Before Amity could make a suggestion, I stepped into the closet and smoothed my hands over the fine gowns hung up for my perusal. There were so many, for so many occasions. So beautiful and well-made, and none that I had chosen myself. I’d have to change that—if I were to be queen, at least I could get some more fine trousers to wear.
I pulled out a fine dark gown from the ones provided. It was simple, with a high neckline, long sleeves, and a full skirt. When I moved, the black fabric of the skirt revealed the under-layer of rich purple. The colors of Nightfall, but also less ostentatious, a little more modest than the gowns I’d worn in the past. I wasn’t eager to draw too much attention to myself if I could help it.
“Lovely choice, milady,” Amity said.
