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“That’s twice I’ve been honest with you, Alosa. Twice I’ve made myself vulnerable to you. That’s supposed to go both ways.”
When I still can’t say anything, he leaves.
Chapter 14
THE WIND STOPS,completely locking us in place after another few days of sailing. The weather can be like that. Wild and deadly one day. Nonexistent the next. In many ways, it’s even worse than being caught in a storm, especially when one is racing against the deadliest man on the sea. Just like that, the lead we’ve obtained after fixing the mast starts to dissipate.
I give the crew chores so none can dwell on our dire straits. I send them below to clean their bunks. Trianne takes a few of the girls to help her tidy up the galley, and the deck is in desperate need of swabbing after the storm. Radita finally has the chance to fix up the mast just the way she would like it.
But it doesn’t take more than a day to clean the ship to perfection. I’m itching out of my skin.
“Kearan! Why aren’t you at the helm? Get over to the aftercastle.”
“And do what? Spin us in circles?”
“Just try to look busy!”
He is busy, though. He spends his time doing more push-ups and stretches. He does heavy lifting around the ship, and I’ve even seen him traversing up and down the stairs leading belowdecks. Not because he’s going anywhere, but because he’s strengthening his legs. Before, he was grizzly-looking with a wild beard, had lazy fat rolls, and had the stench of a drunk permeating off him. Now he actually looks his age: nineteen.
He’s not handsome—nothing could fix that—but he’s healthy, sturdy. His eyes are still too far apart, his nose still broken and badly set. But every bulge on his skin is now muscle. The crew can stand to be within ten feet of him, and he’s clearheaded in a way that makes him even more useful. I thought maybe the changes would cause him to stare at Sorinda less, but there is no change there.
Deshel comes up top through the hatch. Alone. And all I can think about is how she was always in the company of her sister, the two of them giggling at some private joke.
I lost a crew member on this voyage, and I will probably lose more before it is over. My own father is hunting me, and I’m not entirely sure what he will do if he catches me. My crew I know he will kill. Slowly. And me? Will he try to persuade me to his side again? Or will he even bother? Maybe my neck is already marked for a noose.
I’m fleeing one parent and returning to another, but what kind of reception will I receive from my mother? I doubt she knows me anymore. She is back in the water, and all humans will be prey to her. I may be her daughter, but will that matter if she is a mindless sea beast?
And then Riden—
No, I am not going to think of Riden.
The next morning, the skies are still empty of wind, but a fog fills the space instead. Roslyn can barely see the deck of the ship from up in the crow’s nest. The ocean itself is against us now.
Enwen spouts off surefire ways to get rid of the fog.
“Toss three coins into the sea, Captain. One for the stars, one for the sky, and one for the ocean,” he says.
“What need have they for money?”
“It’s not about need, it’s about showing reverence.”
I’m usually patient with him, but I don’t have it in me today. “By all means, Enwen, waste your money, but if you step one foot into my treasury, I’ll toss you overboard.”
Mandsy sits cross-legged on the deck with some fabric in her lap. Looks like she’s working on a dress. Mandsy appreciates fancy things as much as I do. Niridia crouches next to her, chatting lightly.
Kearan rolls a barrel full of freshwater across the deck as a morning exercise. Sorinda sits in the shade made by the aftercastle, watching the crew on deck. I’m bored out of my mind, so I sidle up next to her.
“Kearan looks better,” I say.
“I hadn’t noticed.”
“Maybe you should talk to him.”
She turns her head to look at me fully. Sorinda often reminds me of a cat with the sleek way she moves. “Whatever for?”
“He’s not a drunk anymore. He has things to say.”
“I don’t.”
