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“We’re ready to try again?” she asks, pausing her steps to look at me. I offered to hang her clothes up so she could sit down, and she told me unequivocally no. “You’re not about to mess up my clothes handling them like I have seen you handle your clothes.” So I took a seat on the bed.
“One thing the shootout should have shown us is that life is short. I am ready to be married, baby, aren’t you?” She doesn’t say anything, just disappears in her closet. “Skai?” I call out to her when she doesn’t immediately come back out, and when she doesn’t answer I am in motion. I find her standing in front of the rack holding the shirt she went to hang up, twisting the fabric in between her fingers until the tips are white from blood loss. Reaching out, I gently loosen the fabric from around her fingers before taking the shirt to hang it up. “Talk to me,” I tell her, pulling her into my arms and sinking us both to the floor. I put my back against the wall and put her back to my chest in the hopes of making it easier for her to talk if she is not looking me in my face, even though I really want to see her as she talks.
“It’s just thinking of being a wife. It terrifies me at times. I want to get married one time, Jabarri, and I want to be a good wife to a good husband. I have come into this relationship with a lot of baggage,”
“And we’ve dealt with it,”
“We have, but how long are you going to be patient if something resurfaces?”
“So why did you say yes, Skai? Did you just say yes because you were hoping our family wouldn’t support us?”
“I said yes because I want to be married, Jabarri, I just said that, didn’t I? And I never really thought our family would not support us, but I knew our situation would have us taking our time telling them, and that would give me some time to work on my shit.”
“Baby, I would never put my hands on you ever unless you are begging me to spank you when I have you face down and ass up,” I say, and she laughs, breaking her tension just like I hoped it would. “But right now, I am very tempted to put you over my knee and give you that spanking.”
“Only if you want to lose the knee you put me over and the hands you use to try to spank me,”
“So damn bloodthirsty,”
“No more than you are. I know you don’t get, it but I do. I want to come to you whole, Jabarri. We’ve both waited a long time to get here with each other, and for years I have fought against my attraction to you. I want to be whole and present in this relationship, especially in our marriage. I do not want to be the broken woman you have to tiptoe around because you may trigger me, and I have a meltdown. This relationship shouldn’t be one-sided, Barbie, and if I am not whole it will be. So yes, I want to be your wife, that’s why I said yes, but I also want to be mentally healthy when we get married.”
“I love you for thinking about me and our marriage like that, Nöku Ahi. Why can’t you continue to work on it as my wife? I can support you, because whether we are legally married or not, you are my wife, not future wife, but my damn wife right now, and I am your husband. I am not going anywhere, no matter what. And by the way, so far, you have been an exceptional wife,”
“I’m your wife?”
“That’s right.”
“Then why am I still paying all my bills?” she asks and I pick her up and turn her around so fast she shrieks out a scream.
“What bills do you still pay, Skai?”
“I just paid my credit card bill today!”
“You are a complete sneaker head, Skai. How much was the last pair of sneakers you bought?”
“That is beside the point,”
“Hmm, okay, and besides that, what other bill are you paying?”
“I just paid for my own gas,”
“You paid for gas? I distinctly remember taking your car and filling it up, so when did you pay for gas Skai?”
“Almost a year ago.”
“Wow.”
“The point is, as your wife, I shouldn’t have to pay for anything.”
“I see. Where is the money coming from that you pay for all of these imaginary bills with?”
“My bank account,”
“The one ending in 6702?”
“Yep, that’s the one.”
“Hmm, that’s the same account I deposit money in every month, so I gotta ask what bills are you paying?”
