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12
* * *
ERIS
The last three days had been so exceedingly quiet and nerve-racking. She had gotten up early, showered, and made the coffee. The last few days had consisted of a flurry of sweet text messages from Colton at random moments. He was reaching out to her, trying to make things romantic between the two of them, and it was wonderful.
I miss your smile.
I wish you were here. We could have Zane between us if you need space, but I miss you already.
Have I mentioned that I love how Zane shrugs just like you do?
She was trying to reach out to him but felt unsure how to do so. He was so intense, so driven, and a part of her was still waiting for him to push her away again. Those memories were still there, and it wasn’t something she could just turn off. No, that intensity was still there – but simmering like a pool of lava waiting to explode.
Every time she did anything around the house, it was to make it ‘homey’ or warm when he returned. Simple things had different meanings to her. If she washed the sheets, she would feel her face heat up. If she cooked dinner, she felt like a happy little housewife, but that wasn’t possible.
Was it?
Everything was building up to this moment… this day.
Tuesday.
Pouring a cup of coffee, she was standing in the kitchen when she heard the front door unlock in the silence. Colton’s tired face appeared as he smiled at her, setting his keys on the kitchen table. She held up a finger to tell him that Zane was still sleeping only to see him withdraw a small box of donuts from behind his back.
“Breakfast,” he murmured and walked toward her.
“Coffee?” she whispered… and caught her breath as he suddenly set the donuts down on the counter, putting a hand on her side, tugging her toward him. “Oh…”
“I missed you,” he breathed, putting his forehead against hers as they stood there in the kitchen together. She could smell the smoky scent of him and felt herself responding to such gentleness. Her hand curled behind his neck, holding him close as they just waited.
“I missed you too…” she barely rasped, her voice tight at the revealing words. “I want this, but I can’t help but worry that I’m going to get my feelings hurt again.”
“I know – and I’m sorry,” he began, his voice achingly soft and sincere. “I never meant to drive you off or for things to get so out of control. I died a million deaths knowing I was the cause of everything that went wrong between us. I never meant to hurt you. I was just so scared at what had happened.”
He brushed his nose against her skin and then hesitated.
“I should go get a shower, but…”
“Wait,” she urged, that single word so unexpected to both of them. Her fingers touched his sweaty hair, feeling his breath so close as they stood together. Colton took a step toward her, pressing himself against her. She felt his arms winding around her, pulling and holding her close.
“I’ve missed you so much…” he whispered softly, so close to her lips. “I don’t care if it takes years for us to find our way together because there is nowhere else that I’d rather be.”
Yet he didn’t kiss her.
“I want for us to have everything…”
“I do, too,” she murmured. “I just keep thinking of that moment…”
“That moment is in our past, and we need to allow ourselves time to heal,” he urged tenderly. “You think that I like knowing that I’m the one who destroyed what we had? No, but all I can do is be a better person now. I want to be your husband, your friend, your partner, and our son’s father.”
“What if it happens again? What if we have another problem or disagreement…”
“Then we figure it out together – as a couple,” he promised and chuckled softly, still pressing his forehead to hers. His thumb was brushing against her cheek as he held her close, his hand moving from her side to cup her cheek. “You don’t know how much crow I’d eat to keep you here in my life. Let me tell you… it’s a fairly shocking amount, Eris.”
They both chuckled nervously, neither moving. Her fingers kept brushing against the back of his neck, almost subconsciously, as they remained still. A part of her was afraid this fragile bubble would suddenly disappear, but a bigger part of her wished for so much more.
“Colton…?” her voice was faint, and she loved this sense of closeness between them in these stolen moments of the early morning. That was part of the reason she got up early; she didn’t want to drop ‘bed-head-bad-breath-Eris’ in his lap… no, she wanted to be welcoming when he returned, knowing they were going to try to build something more. She just didn’t expect any of this so quickly.
