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An hour later, they were checking out and shoving bags into the back of the car while two boxes and a baby mattress hung out of her trunk, tied down with twine. As they got to the house, she got Zane out of the booster seat, setting him down so he could walk into the house. She wanted to be able to help carry things inside – only to have Colton stop her.
“I’ll get it,” he offered simply. “Go ahead and take him in.”
“Do you want me to make something for lunch?”
“I’d love that if you are okay with it?” he replied, smiling. “I’m not expecting you to make something for lunch, but it does give me a chance to tackle a few other things. I can get started putting things together for Zane’s room.”
“My woom?” Zane questioned, looking at them both. “Where my woom?”
“Buddy, we are going to make this the best room ever,” Colton said openly, his eyes so full of pride and admiration as he looked at their son, smiling… and for a moment, Eris felt slightly jealous. Sure, Colton was being nice to her, but it was obvious as to why.
Zane.
“Eris, why don’t you make sure your new key works in the door, and I’ll start hauling this in…”
Nodding, Eris once again felt dismissed slightly and walked away, heading toward the door with Zane. Maybe all of this was just another massive mistake on her part, but it wasn’t the first time she’d rushed into something without plotting out all the benefits or problems. She was now so far entrenched in the quagmire that it was terrifying. It had seemed like a good idea for a little while, but the more she thought about things, the more wary she got. There would be no leaving Colton easily because they were now married.
He was spending all this money preparing a room for her and Zane… and not once had he truly shown interest in her again romantically. Even when they said their vows, it was a brief perfunctory kiss - and that was it. It was almost like he was keeping her at an arm’s length, but then again, she really wasn’t trying to encourage him either.
“Zane, why don’t you climb onto the couch and watch as… Daddy,” she choked out the foreign word nervously, “… brings in your things.”
Her son was moving quickly, letting out a happy shriek as Colton carried in the first box containing the new plastic race car bed. He laughed softly at Zane before fetching more from the loaded-down trunk of her vehicle. The trunk of the car was completely full and Colton had reassured her they would ‘figure out’ the sleeping arrangements once they could see how much available room was left over. The room didn’t feel tiny, but once you started putting furniture inside, it had a way of shrinking space.
She made a simple lunch consisting of soup and grilled cheese, thickening Zane’s slightly with some crushed up crackers just so it was easier to stick on the spoon for the little boy. As she finished making lunch, Colton was carrying in the last of the bags and a gallon of paint. Zane was already taking a bite of his sandwich, both joining him at the table.
“I’m going to get started in a few, but I was thinking…” Colton began between bites. “I don’t want the room to smell like fumes from the paint, and I still need to get you a mattress.”
Eris had to fight back the skeptic in her that immediately thought ‘uh huh, I see your ploy to get me back in the sack!’ and listened instead to what he was saying.
“We can let the room air out and make do two more evenings like last night – because I’ll be gone the next three evenings. You work tomorrow, and then I’ll be gone at seven on Saturday morning. It really isn’t a problem until Tuesday night, and we can tackle it then.”
“That’s fine,” she said simply, feeling like an afterthought – and kicking herself for thinking that.
This was all so confusing, and a lot to be happening at once. Did she want him to be interested in her or did she want her space? And why was she even thinking about any of this?
Just because he is helping her doesn’t mean that they will have a relationship at all… and paused. Looking away from him, she focused on her food that was suddenly tasteless and kept sticking in her throat.
Relationship?
Did she even want that?
* * *
Hours later, the bedroom was painted, the bed and toy box for Zane was put together, and she’d given her son a bath before bed. Lying down, she ignored the fact that Colton was lying there not three feet from her, with their son lying between them. He was staring at the ceiling, his fingers folded on his chest, and Zane began fussing, pulling at her in frustration.
“Shhh… I’m right here, sweetie,” she crooned. “Shut your eyes, Zane.”
“Wanna go home.”
“This is our new home for a little while…”
“Eris…”
“Mama… Mama,” Zane sobbed, flopping down bodily before arching his back, fighting off slumber. “I want my Pooh…”
“Has he got to go to the bathroom?” Colton asked, and she shushed him, giving him a look instinctively, only to realize he didn’t know Zane’s habits, and she’d just snapped at him.
“I’m sorry.”
