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“Das berries?” Zane questioned.
“Raspberries,” Colton corrected gently and noticed the little boy watching his mouth carefully. Kneeling, he smiled at his son and nodded. “Here, watch… say raspberries like this - ‘rasssspberries’. Can you say it for me?”
Zane’s little mouth moved awkwardly, forming the word.
“Rasssspberries,” he repeated to his son, who mimicked him… kinda.
“Wazzzberries?”
“Hey,” Colton chuckled, giving him a thumbs up since he’d seen his son do that before – and Zane stuck out his fist with his pointer. Laughing easily, he tucked the tiny finger down and gingerly moved the thumb upward. “There you go, little man. Just like that, okay?”
“Wazzzberries and ‘nanas?”
“We’ll get some bananas at the store today – I promise. First, we are going to have some pancakes. Oh,” Colton started slightly as Eris walked up. “Here’s your mama.”
And Colton backed away, watching from a distance as she deftly undressed and dressed his son with a practiced hand. Obviously, she’d done that several times over the years, and to him, it was charming because it was new to him. He poured the batter into the skillet in several small round circles that might be easy for Zane to handle, flipping them moments later.
“Is the coffee ready?”
“Oh,” he started. “Yes, I’m sorry. I was going to make you a cup but got distracted. Let me flip these so they don’t burn and…”
“I can get my own cup of coffee,” she replied, and he noticed that she’d changed back into her own clothing. It had been kind of nice to see her in his firefighter T-shirt, remembering the good ol’ days when she used to take one occasionally, ‘claiming it’ because she liked the design on the front. “Which cabinet are the coffee cups in?”
“Here,” he said, pointing with the spatula. “I don’t have much because it’s just been me, but you are welcome to anything I have – and feel free to look around.”
“Colton,” she sighed heavily, and he braced himself for what was coming next. “Look, we have a lot of history, and yes – I need a minute to get back on my feet… but that’s all this is.”
“I know,” he replied, the words tasting sour on his tongue because he wanted to scream out his denial immediately. “Take as long as you need…”
“Colton…”
“Hang on,” he interrupted and fished out the pancakes for Zane easily, setting down the plate in front of him. “Hear me out and give me a moment, okay? I’m happy to watch Zane on Friday – and if you can get them to adjust your shift to mine, there will be no more daycare bills because I’ll happily watch my son. It would give me time to get to know him – and you again.”
Her eyes stared up at him, and he saw her lips were pressed together mulishly in that stubborn pride he remembered.
“Eris, it doesn’t have to be complicated or hard between us because we were once the best of friends and more. I’d like that friendship back, for Zane’s sake. If I had known about him or had my name on the birth certificate, I would have happily paid you child support… if you would have just told me,” he whispered quietly. “I never intended for this – or to make you struggle.”
And saw her turn away, hiding her face.
“I appreciate that,” she whispered tearfully… and then turned to look at him, her brilliant eyes were so full of fear and pain. “I wish this had been the guy all those years ago because he seems to understand – where that other version of Colton said some really hurtful things.”
“I know I did, especially from your point of view,” he admitted, reaching out and touching her hand. “I was scared, and I have no excuse except that I was panicking…” and she jerked her hand away.
“You think I didn’t?” And dashed a tear from her lovely face. “I was drowning in fear, and the one person I wanted to reach for and trust caused it - before washing his hands of me.”
He stood there silently while she let everything out. He couldn’t fight a phantom he couldn’t see and was slowly starting to piece it all together the more she let him in.
“Mama, no cry?” Zane asked from the table, causing those already pressed together lips to turn white along the edges from the strain.
“Mama is done crying from now on,” she said bitterly, staring at Colton. “I’m never going to let someone hurt me again.”
“And I promise I won’t,” he said evenly. “If you are down, let me pick you up, and we’ll figure this out with enough time… that’s all I’m asking. You need help on Friday. Great. I go back to work on Saturday, and you can use the house for the three days I’m at the station. Let’s figure out your schedule for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday and talk about it together – as friends.”
“You won’t be here for three days?” she asked, stunned.
“Nope. My shift changed after we broke up, and I was assigned to a different engine. We are on a rotation now, and Reese Carpenter is now the fire chief. Remember he was my captain when I was a probie?”
“I remember you talking about him…”
