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I don’t think I can stay here tonight. I don’t know how I feel about Killian, but I know how I feel about what he did, and right now, being around him doesn’t make me feel safe.
The problem is, I don’t have anywhere to go.
But I suppose he doesn’t know that. At least not yet.
“The locks have been changed at my apartment,” I say, hating how thick with emotion my voice sounds. It’s hard to come off casual and nonconfrontational when I sound like this. “I can’t imagine Aiden fucking with me when he has to realize how narrowly he escaped death last night, so… I think I’ll stay there tonight.”
I can feel his gaze on me, but now that I’ve made up my mind, I don’t want to risk anything changing it. I kiss Toast on my way around the couch, and I head for the kitchen to grab a couple of tins of her food.
“I don’t want you to go.”
Killian’s voice behind me slows my steps, but doesn’t stop them.
I don’t answer him, and apparently, he doesn’t like that.
His voice harder but rawer at the same time, he says, “Don’t go, Brynn.”
My heart aches, but I have to. I need time to sort out my own thoughts, time away from him to process everything.
“It’s not goodbye,” I say softly. “I just… need some space right now.”
His voice is closer when he speaks, startling me. I didn’t hear him move, but he’s right behind me. “And what if I say no?”
My heart sinks, but my will is resolute. “Then maybe it is,” I state, hating the hint of fear in my voice when I say it.
But how can I not feel a little afraid?
Knowing what he’s capable of, how can I even be sure he would let me say goodbye?
Killian grabs my hips and turns me around to face him. I look up at him, trying my best to hide all my conflicted feelings, but I feel certain he can see right through me. I know he can see my fear no matter how hard I try to mask it, and I think if he truly cared about me, it should bother him.
But I don’t think it does.
If it does, maybe he is quickly accepting the reality over his preference. He wants me to want to stay, but… maybe that part is negotiable.
I swallow audibly, and the faintest glimmer of amusement returns to his moody blue eyes. “All right,” he says simply.
My heart rebounds quickly, soaring with surprise. “Really?”
He nods, bringing a hand up and caressing the curve of my jaw. “Of course. You’re not my prisoner. If you’d like to stay the night with Stacie, you’re free to go.”
It’s an absurd impulse to thank him, but it rises up anyway, and I can’t stop it from coming out. “Thank you, Killian.”
He smiles at my soft words, then he leans in and kisses me.
I hate that his kiss still makes me weak in the knees, but it does.
He breaks the kiss, and before I realize he’s taken advantage of my weakness, he takes Toast right out of my arms. “But I’ll be keeping the cat here. For when you return.”
I look up at him, wide-eyed and more horrified than when I found out about the fire. “I can’t… leave my cat.”
“Then you’re free to change your mind and stay. Either way, Toast is staying with me.”
I narrow my eyes at him, all the warmth I just felt melting away. “You’re really going to hold my cat hostage?”
“I really am,” he states, and again, I’m flabbergasted that he doesn’t even bother pretending that’s not his motivation.
What a fucking jerk.
