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She’s in the bathroom for a while, though. Long enough that I sit up and stare at the door, wondering if she’s not actually there.
“Andie?” I call out.
“Yeah, I’m…” I can’t make out the rest. But a few minutes later, she appears wearing a new pair of jeans. Her hair is up in a messy bun and her cheeks pink, as if she just scrubbed the hell out of them.
I smile and extend my hand. “Come back to bed.”
She shakes her head and leans against the doorjamb. Her eyes are downcast, nervous. “I have something to tell you.”
Every muscle in my body tenses as I take her in and realize I made a mistake. Her hair is not in a messy bun, but a disheveled ponytail, as if she’s been tugging at it for a while. And her cheeks aren’t scrubbed, but flushed red, as are her eyes. In her hand, there’s a small packet of something, and she’s turning it over and over.
Throwing the blankets off, I go to stand in front of her. “What is it?”
“I…” Again, she shakes her head. “It’s my birth control. I forgot to take it the last couple of days and I’m not sure how… It’s not something I usually worry about because I don’t have sex that often. I’m sure nothing would happen, but you have… Inside me.”
I frown as I try to make sense of what she’s saying. “Are you afraid I could have gotten you pregnant?”
“I mean, I don’t think it could have happened with only that, but I?—”
Laughter erupts from me and she blinks up. I place my palms on her shoulders. “Nothing would happen even if you stopped taking them completely, Andie. I can’t have kids.”
The little lines between her brows appear. “What do you mean?”
Smoothing them out with my thumb, I say casually, “I had a vasectomy years ago.”
She lets her gaze rove over me. “But, you’re only thirty-eight. Do you have children already?”
“No.”
“Don’t you ever want any?”
I shrug and go to the sit on the bed and pat the spot next to me. When she comes, I stroke her arm. “I knew early on what I wanted to do with my life, and a family isn’t it. Especially the children part. My business is too important to risk.”
“You believe a family is a risk.” It’s a statement.
“In my world? Yes. I would never have gotten to where I am if I had to split my time. Not to mention the vulnerability they present for someone with powerful enemies.”
“Mmm, I see now.” She purses her lips as if she’s piecing something together in my mind.
“You don’t agree with me.”
She peers at her feet and shrugs too. “Our lives are so different, Gavin. You might be right. Maybe kids are a risk and a vulnerability. I’ve certainly considered where I’d be if I didn’t have Lola. What I’d be doing right now if she hadn’t been born and I had only myself to worry about. But the answer is always the same.”
“What’s that?”
She looks back at me. “I’d be… here.”
I don’t understand her reply, and certainly not the sadness that comes over her features, as if she’s feels bad for me, maybe even pities me a little. It’s on the tip of my tongue to demand clarification. But she must sense it because she cups my cheek and leans in to press her lips to mine and makes me forget what I was about to ask.
The kiss grows from soft to hungry instantly. I roll her over onto her back, and press her hands into the mattress.
“These jeans need to be torn off,” I growl as I nip my way to her neck.
She chuckles and squirms beneath me. “No! Let me wear them at least one day. I’ve never had such nice pants.”
“I’ll get you new ones.” I sit up and make to grab a knife from the nightstand.
“Please, Gavin. Just tug them off for now. Later you can fulfill whatever dirty fantasy you have going on.”
