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“Then I get a match. It’s you two, and you’re exactly what I’ve always wanted, but giving in to this thing feels like letting my parents win, which is stupid because that’s what they wanted and somehow, I was trying to appease them but also rebel against them. I’m a grown woman. Why do I even care what they think about me? I do, but caring about their opinion hurts.”
She took a breath but there was more to come. “And you two! Two of the sexiest men alive. You look at me when I speak and you open doors for me, and you saved me on that godsforsaken mountain. You made me breakfast and, no matter how hard I’ve tried to push you away, I couldn’t do it anymore and so I wanted to embarrass you or make you hate me to the point where you would send me back, but that doesn’t make sense because I don’t want to leave, but I know that eventually you’re going to get tired of me anyway, and I can’t handle you two breaking my heart.”
She slapped her hand over her mouth. Clearly that last part came out without permission.
“Anything else?” Edward asked. His knuckles had gone white from his grip on the steering wheel. We pulled into our driveway and parked in the garage.
“No,” she whispered.
I got out and opened her door for her and, with her eyes downcast, she walked into the house, not looking back.
Chapter Eighteen
Monroe
I’d made a colossal ass out of myself not once but twice today.
Before I could do any more damage to myself and to Ansel and Edward, I’d run up to my room and tore off all the clothing I’d worn to that damned mountain. After turning on the hot water, I wrapped my arms around my torso and tried to hold myself and my tears in. Shifters had enhanced hearing, I’d heard, and I was going to do anything I could not to let them hear me fall apart.
I got in and it wasn’t long before I sat on the marble floor of the shower and pulled my knees up to my chest. Hot water poured down from all eight showerheads, creating a boundary between me and the world.
What a fool I’d been. Crying and shaking at the top of that mountain like a pathetic, weak little girl.
Of course, Ansel and Edward had come to my rescue right away. Their presence put me at ease and scared the life out of me at the same time.
I’d known them only two days, and they’d shown me more love and protection than I’d known my whole life.
The hole that would be in my heart when they sent me away could never be filled by another person.
The connection to them came so naturally and with such ease it shook me to the core. From what I knew, love wasn’t like that. It had to be earned and it shut off as easily as a light bulb. It ran hot and cold. It took you on an emotional roller coaster.
Ansel and Edward were nothing like that. They were steady and calm. There were no speed bumps but the ones I caused.
I’d ruined everything.
But that’s what I set out to do, right? Push them away. Make them not want me around.
Benji was right. I’d created a wall around myself but also wanted someone to hold me and love me—but I’d made all of that impossible.
I’d never tell Benji he was right.
I forced myself out of the shower after washing the day from my skin and hair. I dressed in my most comfortable outfit since I was probably headed to the airport in the next few hours if not minutes.
But halfway down the stairs, I heard Ansel and Edward talking. And I heard my name.
I braced myself for my exit as my heart pounded between my temples.
“We have to give her time,” Edward said. I would know their voices in a screaming crowd.
“She can have all the time in the world as long as she stays here. I won’t be able to handle her leaving us, Ed.”
My knees buckled. My ass landed on a stair but, thankfully, it didn’t make much of a noise. I covered my mouth with my hand as tears built up in my eyes. They wanted me to stay? After that freak-out? After everything I’d done to push them away.
“We’re going to beg if we have to,” Edward answered with a strong resolve in his tone. My chest constricted hearing it.
I leaned on the banister for support. These two strong, intelligent, caring men were willing to beg me to stay?
“What she said in the car,” Ansel stated. “Gods, no wonder she doesn’t trust anyone. They have caused her some major damage. I already love her. I won’t see any more pain come to her.”
