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She still found it impossible to believe. She knew the practicalities of how it got there but, even looking at it now, seeing what they’d both seen on the monitor at the hospital… it still didn’t feel real. She was going to become a mother. That fact alone scared the hell out of her. The majority of the time, she had trouble looking after herself. What was she going to do when she became responsible for someone else? And not just someone else: someone small and helpless. Someone who was going to look to her for everything. It was an enormous task and something she hadn’t given full and proper consideration to at any time in her life before. Now, she only had just over six months to prepare herself.
She felt Nicholas stir and he turned over in the bed to face her.
‘Hey,’ he greeted.
‘Morning.’
‘Still looking at our baby?’ He leaned up on his elbow and joined her gazing at the picture.
‘Do you think its head’s OK? It looks kind of square.’ She held the photo closer to the bedside lamp.
‘Then he or she must take after you. Have you never noticed your slight corners?’
‘Not funny.’
‘It looks perfect to me and Dr Stone said everything was normal. The heartbeat was fine and that’s all you can ask for at this stage.’
‘I can’t believe I have the responsibility of carrying it around for the next six and a half months.’
‘I’ll do you a deal. You carry it around for the next six and a half months and I will do more than my fair share for the next eighteen years or so.’
‘You think I’m going to forget to feed it, like my houseplants.’
‘No, I just want you to know that I’m all in. I want to be there for everything. The feeding, the diapers… you name it.’
‘They’re called nappies. Please call them nappies,’ Freya begged.
‘OK, nappies. So, how do you feel about it now? I mean in the cold, almost light of day?’
‘How do I feel about what? The baby? The fact my ex-fiancé is apparently my half-brother? Or the fact someone’s breaking into our home and chopping me out of photographs?’
‘How do you feel about the most important of those things?’
‘Eric is a no-no for a boy’s name. And Jane is definitely out for a girl. I wouldn’t want to give up work completely. But if we have a nanny, I want to personally interview them all. Oh and I’m not breastfeeding.’
‘I’m fine with all of that.’ He leant forward and kissed her.
Freya put her arms around him, still holding the photograph. She held him close to her, breathing in the scent of him.
‘Let’s get married. Let’s just go and do it,’ she whispered.
‘Not this again. We decided on a date, didn’t we? This wonderful news doesn’t change anything. We have six and a half months to make sure you’re a Kaden before he or she is,’ Nicholas reminded her.
‘I’m not saying it because of the baby. I’m saying it because I don’t want to wait a minute longer. I want to get married now, today. We can do that, can’t we? There must be ways of arranging it.’
‘If this isn’t because of the baby, then this is because of Jonny.’
Freya stiffened at the mention of his name.
‘I think maybe you should talk to him.’
‘Talk to him?! Right now, all I want to do is throttle him! All these years and not a word. All these years believing my father paid him off when, in fact, the truth was much worse! What we did was disgusting. Not to mention illegal and what if I’d got pregnant or something? What then? We could be talking eleven fingers and a face like the Elephant Man.’ She got out of bed, grabbed her robe and wrapped it around her.
‘Freya, you didn’t know any of that at the time you were dating. He didn’t know either. Now, I’m not the guy’s greatest fan, but I’m guessing he must be feeling this too.’
‘Don’t have any sympathy for him! He’s had over ten years to come to terms with this. I’ve had about ten hours! I don’t think you can begin to understand how I feel.’
‘Of course I can’t. But I can tell you now, you can stop trying to take some of the blame. Like I told you last night, none of this is your fault. How could it be?’
