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“No, child.” Janeira laid a hand on my arm. “There are good reasons we don’t interact with them.”
“Like what?” The wind whipped my exposed forearms, but something told me that wasn’t why the hairs on them stood up on end.
“Some merfolk covens, including that one, partake in a practice known as ‘voice-binding.’ We don’t associate with covens like this.”
“Why? What is ‘voice-binding’?”
Janeira touched a hand to her throat and swallowed. “Until a member of the coven turns twenty-one, their voices are bound so they cannot speak. It was a practice designed to stop young merfolk abusing their vocal powers to lure people into the ocean.”
I raised my head. The idea of not being able to speak, especially as a child, gave me the chills. From Janeira’s guarded reaction to the practice, I wasn’t wrong to feel that way.
“Does it work?” I asked. “Does it teach merfolk restraint?”
“Restraint, no. Compliance, yes,” Janeira said. “When a coven has that much control over its people, they can abuse it. Some merfolk don’t have their voices released until well after their twenty-one years as punishment for not conforming to the will of the coven. The intentions of the practice may have been good, but the reality is quite different.”
“My mum…” I almost couldn’t say the words. “…she knew sign language.”
An essential for someone who couldn’t use their voice, surely?
“Maeve, I’m sure your curiosity is a powerful force in this case. I know I would have trouble fighting it,” Janeira said. “But if they partake in this practice and didn’t look too hard for your mother, there may be some cutthroat politics operating in that coven. Do not go looking for them.”
I squeezed my arms tighter around my knees.
She was right, but the curiosity ate at me like acid through wood.
At the very least, I had to research this coven from afar. If my mother had been a part of that coven once, it explained why she was so terrified of the water.
“That thing you can do with your voice… you know, the luring,” I said. “Do you think… I…?”
“Almost certainly. This must all be very confusing for you, Maeve.” Janeira patted my arm. “I would love to support you in your self-realisation. You’re more than welcome to move to the island for a time. You are one of us, after all.”
“Thank you, I’m honoured, but… I haven’t told my family yet,” I said.
Disappearing to a merfolk island for an indeterminate time would raise some questions.
“Of course,” Janeira said. “If you have questions or if you need help with anything, please come to us.”
“Thank you, I really appreciate that.”
“And as my first piece of advice, unsolicited though it may be, the practice of voice-binding has one thing correct. Our singing voices are dangerous weapons when utilised incorrectly,” Janeira said. “Be wary.”
Another illusion shattered in my head. Something about singing had always felt unusual to me. Had I been inadvertently using mermaid magic on the people around me whenever I sang?
I sealed my lips. For now, I couldn’t sing. Not even if Dad wanted me to. I had to figure this out before I went near that activity again.
“Janeira, I know I’m asking a lot. But could you please keep this between us until I’ve told my family?” I asked.
“Of course, Maeve. Your secret is safe with me.”
As Janeira patted my arm again, my turmoil eased a little. Not until that moment, after baring my secret to her, had I realised how alone I had truly felt.
My mind buzzed uncomfortably, long after I left the island and returned home to dress for work. I needed a serious vent with the girls to release this pressure.
But as I drove out of the driveway of the Arrowood estate, a thought occurred to me; I had the ultimate distraction on hand if I had only remembered to use it.
“You’re trying to solve a murder, remember?” I said to myself. “Maybe focus on that for a minute instead of your own crazy problems.”
I could afford to sweep my mermaid heritage under the rug for a while. At least until I could speak to Kira and Allison.
