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“I don't know. Probably a hypoglycemic attack.”
Despite what she claims, the way she's tightened her lips as if to prevent them from saying anything more shows that she's not unaware of what's just happened to her. Why won't she tell me? What is she afraid of me for? She may be ill, but I'm dead!
After a few minutes and several long swigs of water, she pulls herself together and sets off across the village, her gaze fixed on the mist-shrouded abbey. The magnificence of this edifice makes it unthinkable that atrocities could take place here. And yet...
Bypassing the village center, Believ weaves her way through the barely awakening alleyways back to the small mountain where our destination is perched. She wolfs down a scone from a modest bakery and begins our final ascent. That is to say, before the one that will take me to heaven, as she promised.
Discretion is more important than ever, but Believ takes the main route, which is already steep. Climbing up the hillside would be pointless; with no trees, we're inevitably exposed to the sight of the monks above us.
Having remained silent until now, I can't help questioning her.
“What's the plan?”
She turns to me with a raised eyebrow, then gives me an almost candid half-smile.
When her face lights up like that, I could say to her, “Let's leave; let's leave this place. Let's live somewhere else.” What's going through my head to want this cumbersome body that obviously doesn't want me back? But I don't. The force pushing me toward my carnal envelope seems even more powerful than the feelings I'm developing toward this woman. And that's a blow to my morale. Am I as evaporated as my solidity?
“The plan? Get in undetected and snoop around for your body.”
As simple as that! How could I not have thought of it myself?! This girl is fearless, no doubt about it. I have no fears about my immediate fate: I'm invisible, except to her, so who could attack me? No one. Believ, on the other hand, is an ideal target. And if I manage to materialize under certain circumstances, there's no guarantee that I'll be able to do so again if she's in danger. There's a gulf between my burgeoning need to protect her and my ability to do so. A feeling of helplessness and uselessness has been building up in my heart for some time now, and it's undermining me deeply.
So, I insist—a bit clumsily, I admit, “Of course, but in concrete terms?”
Her smile fades in the face of my preoccupied expression, and her eyebrows frown delicately. Suddenly serious, she replies,
“I've no idea. I've been trudging through the pampas for three days, trying not to lose my skin. I don't even know what this abbey looks like from the inside, or how many monks there are.”
It's true that our research hasn’t proved fruitful. This congregation jealously guards its secrets and all information concerning it.
“We go in and improvise.”
Just as I said: a real hothead.
How can I be sure that, when the time comes, someone will look after my soul?
At the end of this notebook, I've drawn up a step-by-step instruction manual. The essentials are recorded down to the smallest detail. [...]
Practical Guide for Successors
To whoever will devote himself for the salvation of my soul and that of the deceased who will follow me, it’s imperative to respect the modalities hereafter exposed:
1. Take possession of my belongings and make sure to find my bag, my purse containing six coins, my sin flask, my stole, and my wooden bowl;
2. Perform the first ceremony on my person, following the usual procedure;
3. Remain discreet to maintain a semblance of social life; the mission must remain secret, as must the Sin Eater's identity.
Eltz's journal
15
Believ
Built like a fortress, the abbey is surrounded by a thick wall whose only visible entrance is a monumental riveted wooden gate protected by a portcullis.
Despite the number of monks I imagine must reside here, the place is quiet. Perhaps a little too quiet. Only birdsong and the whispering of the wind animate the place. Have they taken a vow of silence?
If this building was indeed originally intended to withstand a siege, it must have alternative accesses. I'm not sure what I'm looking for—tunnels, back doors, or some other way of getting back to the village or countryside undetected.
