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“Thanks Rain,” I said as I sat my coffee mug down on the counter and breezed out of the room.
Finn was just waking up back in the living room.
“Morning, sleepyhead. You’re the last person to get up. Romero’s making breakfast, if you’re hungry.”
I found the backpack Rain had told me about, picked it up, and slung the strap over my shoulder.
“What’re you doing?” he asked in a sleep filled groggy voice.
“I’m going to take a shower. Do you want to come with me?”
“Fuck yeah I want to.” He threw back the covers and quickly climbed to his feet.
I laughed softly at him. He still looked adorably sleep rumpled but he looked suddenly wide awake and eager.
“Grab your bag.” I instructed him. “We’ll use the shower upstairs in my old bedroom.”
Yesterday I’d just barely looked in on my old room. I had been worried about having a nervous breakdown. Today, things were different. I felt different. Less than twenty-four hours back in this house and I felt more like myself than I had in a very long time.
Finn grabbed his bag and followed me out of the room. He didn’t talk as we made our way down the hallway and up the stairs.
With some people their silence could be stifling and make me nervous. With Finn it was just comforting. His presence filled the silence well enough and it actually made me feel very safe.
I stopped in front of the door that opened up to the bedroom that used to be mine. I drew in a deep breath for strength and turned the knob, pushing the door open.
It was like stepping back into a time warp.
My chest ached as I looked around my child hood bedroom. It had gone through every faze with me and finally it had landed on teenage girl almost turned woman.
The bed had a white canopy hanging down all around it with fairy lights twinkling inside of it. The comforter on the bed was covered in constellations as were the pillows piled up at the top of it. The rug on the floor matched the comforter.
The walls were painted a pretty dove gray. The curtains hanging around the windows were a sweet shade of lavender.
The bookshelves were covered in books, knickknacks, picture frames, and candles.
The vanity was covered in a mess of makeup, perfume, jewelry, and random little trinkets.
I cleared my throat and turned away from it all. “Com on, Finn. The bathroom’s this way.”
He was quiet and ever watchful as he followed behind me into the bathroom. Probably waiting for me to have a nervous breakdown. It wasn’t coming though.
For once in my life I actually had my shit together and planned on keeping it that way.
It wasn’t nearly as sad as I thought it would be being back here. I had been spared when my family had not. I had stopped questioning why me a very long time ago. I couldn’t think like that because it would drive me insane and I didn’t want to live my life going crazy.
And that was really no way to live.
I couldn’t change anything. Nothing could bring them back. What was done was done and even when I was down at my worst I knew my family would have wanted me to be happy while living my best possible life.
I didn’t want to disappoint them.
“This bathroom is huge,” Finn remarked distractedly.
Everything in this house was huge, if I was being honest.
I grew up in a beautiful place, surrounded by magic.
Here was my opening with Finn and I wasn’t about to let it slide. “It’s not like where you grew up, right Finn?”
