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“You can hide in the wall.”
“There’s no hiding from him,” he complained. “He can sense me anywhere. The last thing I want is to spy on him. I don’t want to get on his bad side. You don’t even know how ruthless he is. And I’m still traumatized from being sliced in two!”
He was still worried about me, so he wanted to stay close to me.
“Fine, stay,” I said.
“That’s stress eating, Barbie,” Pucker commented, watching me devour the food.
It was more than that. I had this endless void in me. I consumed as much food as I could and let Sy feed her way, so we wouldn’t turn into the eater of the world like my father.
“You shouldn’t feel guilty,” Pucker continued, as he could feel a wave of renewed anxiety lapping at me. “She’d have killed you without an ounce of remorse. Medea had been seeking every opportunity to get rid of you. If she had lived, I bet all my money that she’d murder you in the arena as soon as the first bride trial started.”
“You don’t have any money,” I said, biting into an egg and cheese burrito.
What’s wrong with you? Sy chimed in, jerking awake from her nap. When was it an issue, especially if it was to kill or to be killed?
“I was caught off guard,” I said, going for an onion soup cooked by Killian’s personal chef. I was familiar with the taste since I’d raided his private kitchen a couple of times. “I didn’t mean to kill her. I didn’t expect her to just go up in flames.”
“Would you feel better if you decapitated her instead?” Pucker asked.
You’d feel better beheading her first, then setting her on fire. Sy nodded her understanding.
These two didn’t have a single empathetic bone in them. I might not have had empathy before I came to Mist of Cinder, but ever since I’d taken the role of its protector in secret, I didn’t like to take a life in this realm unless it was absolutely necessary.
“There’ll be hell to pay for killing a royal,” I said, musing.
“Prince Killian will protect you,” Pucker said.
“I’ve brought him enough shit,” I said, my appetite gone. “The king and queen will come after me, and there’s nothing he can do. They outrank him. The queen will want my head since I killed her daughter. The Council will back up Headmistress Ethel and the druid. Killian can’t fight on all sides.”
“He isn’t alone. All the princes will fight for you,” Pucker said. “We all saw how they defended you against that old bitch Ethel and the evil druid.”
“In the end, they’ll cave when all the kings and queens condemn me.” I sighed. “And I don’t want to put the princes at odds with their parents because of me. I’ve caused enough problems. I want to be a blessing instead of a curse for a change.”
“You need to think of the big picture, Barbie,” Pucker said softly. “In the end, who’ll be able to defend this realm?”
My heart skipped a beat. Had he figured it out? I couldn’t hide all my secrets from him, since he was my familiar, even though I hadn’t told him a thing about Ruin.
Everyone saw the darkest flame, Pucker said. But we can’t let anyone know that it came from you until one day you can reveal your true power. Now everyone is only speculating on the flame. Killian insisted that it was generated from the dark magic in the chainlock, and then it incinerated Princess Medea who activated it. It’s good that no one understands your power and they all think you’re an Echo. We need to keep it that way.
I swallowed hard. That’s what I am afraid of, my own power. I lost control. I couldn’t contain it. I didn’t even understand it, as it just came roaring out and burned people. It was supposed to be my ace in the hole, but if I can’t harness and leash it, what good is it to me?
Can you feel it now? Pucker asked. Let’s practice. Hold a drop of it and lift it slowly.
I peeked inside, and the abyss stared back.
We’ll practice in Underhill, Pucker said. You must tame it if you want to survive the giant shitstorm that will eventually roll our way.
I nodded. My ghost familiar had thrown all he had in with me, and it was time for me to truly trust him.
So I told the ghost guardian about my father, the God of Ruin, the eater of the world, and that he was coming.
22
Barbie
Killian had been summoned to the court of the Kingdom of Chaos. He’d have to face his king father, his queen stepmother, and the Council for questions on my duel with Princess Medea that ended up with her being burned to nothingness.
