Page 128 of Under His Guard

I squeeze Clara’s hands, shaking my head to get her attention.

“Clara,” I start, a light sweat breaking out along my forehead as I struggle to stay in this position. “I am a damn train wreck. I have PTSD from my time overseas because…I was involved in a really bad shooting.”

I’ve never said the words out loud, even to the few therapists I tried, and I feel like I’m exposing my greatest vulnerability for an audience.

But I will do anything for Clara.

Even this.

“Luke, you don’t have to…” She shakes her head. “I’m not expecting you to?—"

“I drink because the nightmares are so bad I can’t sleep,” I say, cutting her off. “Everything in my life was a way to run away from the pain I was feeling. I never pursued anything meaningful with anyone because it would mean I had to open up about all this, and I was too scared to do that. I’ve used humor and a who cares attitude to keep everyone at arm’s length.”

A shuddering breath leaves me as the lightheaded feeling increases.

“And then there was you.”

She stares back, tears slowly falling down her face. I hate seeing Clara cry, and my chest feels very much like it could break open.

Still, I need to be honest, and not just with her. The words tumble from my lips as I bleed the truth out for the person that matters most to me to see.

“I don’t fucking deserve you—or the incredible person you’re apparently growing in there. I don’t deserve happiness like you’ve shown me. You did it anyway. I tried to keep myself from falling for you. But I did it anyway. I thought I wanted easy and fast, and then done, but…”

I reach into my pocket with one hand, wondering if it was fate that got me to put the damn thing in there last night.

Bringing the box to where Clara and I are still clasping each other’s hands, I manage to get it open.

The emerald gleams in the sunlight that crests over the top of the taller building; a new day is officially here.

A sob sneaks out of Clara from behind her closed lips, and she shakes her head.

“Oh my God, Luke. It’s…”

“An emerald. I remembered.”

She smiles through the crying that’s broken free at this point.

“I love you, doc. I’ve loved you since you stuck a needle through my side. You’re smart, you’re feisty, and you’re so damn brave. You make me want to try. To try and be better than I am today.”

I take the ring out of the box, tossing it into the back of the ambulance, and then slip the emerald onto just the tip of Clara’s finger.

“I will be better. I’ll do everything I can to prove that to you. Because I want this. I want you. I want you and a family I can call my own. My father was a piece of shit. It’s only been me and my brothers, a few not by blood. I want to create something better than that. And I want to do it with the woman who owns my damn soul.”

The ring is poised and ready to go on, and I take one long blink before I look back up at Clara.

“So, please. Say yes.”

Chapter 41

Clara

I can’t stop the tears from washing down my face in an endless flood.

My already frayed nerves are going haywire as I look at the most amazing man I’ve ever met, down on one injured leg, asking me to choose him.

Scuffling and yells sound around us as more Cobras are taken into custody, and flicking my glance to the left, I can see the very worried EMTs.

As far as proposals go, this is the last place I would have ever expected one.

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