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“No,” Agnes said, her brow furrowing as she thought about it. “No. He seems like a good guy. I mean, his skill set is upsetting, but so is yours, and I’m for you. People are trying to kill me and you’re saving me, so I’m definitely for you.”
Shane nodded. “All right, then.”
“So come help me get the pillows,” Agnes said. “Do not shoot Three Wheels. Save yourself for Grandpa Four Wheels, who sent both boys.”
“I’m not going to shoot Three Wheels,” Shane said, exasperated. “What do you think I am?”
“A hitman,” Agnes said. Shane nodded. “Good call.”
Agnes wrapped her arms around herself. “You could have lied to me, you know.”
“I’m guessing that’s when you pick up the meat fork,” Shane said, and pointed her toward the bedroom.
“I’m giving up meat forks,” Agnes said, and she sounded as though she meant every word of it.
“We’ll see,” Shane said.
Half an hour later, Agnes lay curled into an insomniac fetal position on her back porch under a sheet, trying to take stock. The man she’d planned on marrying was not only married to another woman, he was trying to cheat her out of her house with the other woman, and she’d almost killed him in retaliation. The Southern-Italian wedding of the season that she’d planned with meticulous care was now going to be a flamingo-themed pink-fest. Two different men had shown up with guns and pointed them at her tonight, for reasons that appeared to involve her dog, and one of them had definitely intended to kill her. A man the size of a truck had just removed a body from her kitchen. An underage kid named after a tricycle was trapped in her basement, because the hitman she’d just had angry sex with wanted to talk to him in the morning. And her column still wasn’t done.
She was definitely turning over a new leaf. Her next fiancé was going to be a nice, steady, nice, regular nice guy, a non-lethal, non-lying nice guy. A good guy.
Agnes shifted on Shane’s air mattress. She was definitely not sleeping with the hitman again. That was just insane. The whole concept of “messy breakup” alone could?—
“You sure you’re okay?” Shane said, half asleep beside her now.
“Yes,” Agnes said.
Which wasn’t a lie. She was exhausted, but she wasn’t angry or frightened or insane anymore. If she’d been this calm when they’d had sex, she might have noticed some of the details. It was a shame she’d missed that.
She shifted again.
“Something wrong?”
“No.” But it would be really nice if you wrapped your arms around me. And then did some stuff. To keep my mind off some other stuff. And make me so tired, I pass out. And then tomorrow, I’ll be sane and never sleep with you again.
“You scared?”
“No,” Agnes said. “You’re here.”
“What then? I’m trying to get to sleep, and you’re tense as a board.”
“Yeah,” Agnes said. “About that.”
“Whatever it is you need, I’ll take care of it in the morning.” He stretched over and kissed her forehead, and she lifted her chin to catch his mouth, putting her hand on his cheek and kissing him back, and after a minute, he pulled back. “Agnes?”
“Well,” she said in a reasonable voice. “It’s morning somewhere.”
He rolled over on his back and stared at the porch ceiling. “You’re an odd woman, Agnes.” He sighed. “You have any special requests? Anything you like?”
“Men,” Agnes said. “Men who save my life and then make me come on my back porch.”
“I can do that,” Shane said, and put his arms around her, and Agnes sighed and began to concentrate on the details.
They were very comforting.
Shane woke feeling naked and exposed. And content. He cracked an eye at the mop of dark curly hair lying across his chest, which he knew was a mistake, because he should be checking the perimeter first to see what had wakened him. He was making a lot of mistakes lately.
He looked over at Rhett and noted that the bloodhound had his head up, which he took to be a sign of high alert for the dog. Probably the apocalypse coming, and the Four Horsemen were pounding toward the bridge over the inlet right now. With luck, it would collapse under them. Shane slid out from underneath Agnes and realized he was very exposed. A sniper could take him out easily.
