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“I’ll tell you later.” Agnes picked up the phone and dialed. “I have to tell Taylor first” Lisa Livia rolled her eyes, but Agnes said, “It’s his personal business, LL.” She listened to the phone ring once and then Taylor’s answering machine clicked on. When she heard the beep, she said, “I need to talk to you tonight. No excuses. Nine o’clock is good.” She hung up and turned back to Shane. “So Maria went mental on Evie and Brenda, then Lisa Livia told Evie she saw Xavier feel her up twenty five years ago, and now it turns out there’s a chance I’m going to lose this house, and I’m definitely going to be up to my ass in plastic flamingos by Thursday. How was your day?”
“I talked to Joey, I got shot at twice, and I got you an air conditioner. Why are you going to lose the house?”
“Shot at?” Lisa Livia said.
“This morning while Evie and Brenda were here?” Agnes said. “Because I heard shots then.”
“They missed. Why are you going to lose the house?”
Then the other shoe dropped. “You got me an air conditioner?” Agnes swallowed hard. “You got me an air conditioner?”
He looked taken aback. “Well, you were having trouble with the central air unit you had?—”
“It’s too small for the house,” Agnes said.
“—so I checked it before I left and you needed another one. It’s no big deal, Agnes.”
“Oh, my God,” Agnes said. “You got shot at and you still got me an air conditioner.”
“Agnes, it’s an air conditioner, not a kidney,” Shane said, and she wanted to say, It’s better than a kidney, after all that, you still remembered me? but all she said was, “Thank you very much. I’ll pay you back.”
“No, you won’t,” Shane said. “Think of it as room and board. What’s for dinner?”
“Joey brought me a tenderloin last night and I put it to marinade this morning,” Agnes said. “That’s easy and then we’ll have sandwiches from the leftovers for a while.”
“That’s worth an air conditioner,” Shane said.
“I’ll do more,” Agnes said.
“You’re easy, Agnes,” Shane said.
You have no idea. Take me. “An air conditioner. My God.”
“So what happened with the house?”
“That’s what I have to talk to Taylor about first.”
“If you tell me, I’ll fix it,” he said, and she almost told him, just because he was there, and because he bought her an air conditioner, and because he could do anything, she was pretty sure. “It’s nothing I can’t handle,” she lied.
“I’ll go put the air conditioner in,” he said, nodded to Lisa Livia, and went out the back door.
Agnes turned to start dinner and caught sight of Lisa Livia watching her with her arms folded. “What?”
“Finally, something good is happening to you.”
“Yes,” Agnes said firmly. “I got an air conditioner.”
“That’s not all you’re getting,” Lisa Livia said. “And that fathead Taylor is toast. Couldn’t happen to a shallower guy, either.”
“Don’t get all starry-eyed on me,” Agnes said, heading for the refrigerator. “Shane is not staying.”
“I know, that’s the beauty of it. He gives you an air conditioner, evicts that airhead from your life, gives you great sex, and then leaves. My God. The perfect man.”
“Are you staying for dinner?” Agnes asked with studied politeness.
“No,” Lisa Livia said. “He might decide to take you before dessert. I wouldn’t want to be in the way. I’ll come back tomorrow for leftovers after I’ve rummaged around on the Brenda Belle to see if Brenda’s got anything incriminating packed away. She’s about as smart with money in general as you are, so outside of scamming you for this house, I doubt she’s much ahead of you on anything.”
“I’m smart with money,” Agnes said.
