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“I don’t have a home any longer, Daniel. I wasn’t allowed to make choices. I have no friends, no people who care about me left in my world. I have no pet to curl up with and keep me warm at night and I certainly have no ability to come and go as I please. Every act of freedom, every sense of being who I was once is now gone. You might have captured my body, but that’s all you can take from me. Not my soul and certainly not my heart.” She made the statement as if I’d killed her parents, abducting her from her home country. However, her sadness was heartfelt, her voice filled with angst.
I was stunned how much her words affected me, how strange yet fulfilling the sense of being her protector was. But there was more that confounded the fuck out of me.
I didn’t want her hatred. I wanted her devotion.
And even her love.
Maybe it was the way she issued the statement, the sadness in her voice that hit me so hard. Or perhaps I was forced to realize that I had no understanding of how to make her feel better. None.
Home.
Perhaps it was too much to ask that she ever consider my house her home.
But the strangest part of all was that I wanted to make her feel at home more than anything. What did that make me?
CHAPTER 15
“Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.”
—Franklin D. Roosevelt
Maria
What about women?
I’d heard the quote years before hadn’t really put much thought into the possibility that I’d ever need to worry about it, but I’d been dead wrong. I’d been locked inside the room, left alone as soon as Daniel had brought me home.
Two days had passed.
Two.
I couldn’t get out of my mind what both Maria and my new husband had said. I was caught in a nightmare, but I’d allowed myself to be lured into it. My behavior reminded me of the stupid girl in the cheesy horror flicks who ran toward danger or at least had no clue how to hide very well. There was no hiding from this situation. None.
Especially since I truly was his prisoner.
He’d had the television removed, also taking my phone. There was no radio or shelf full of books to keep me occupied. He’d ensured all I could do was wallow in self-pity and recrimination from my horrific behavior, putting his family and himself at risk.
I wanted to scream, to tell him the truth but things had already gone too far. There was no choice but to accept that I was the sole reason I was in this position.
And maybe that seeing the concern on Daniel’s face had been real.
He’d said nothing to me, but I’d seen the disappointment in his eyes, the anger furrowing deep within. I hadn’t thought clearly enough to know my actions had placed him in further danger. Now I understood at least a little bit better.
Darkness had already fallen for a third time since being held prisoner, the night nothing I used to fear but now I wasn’t certain what to expect any longer. I’d seen at least ten different men walking the property and there was no doubt they were all carrying weapons. The realization had just been another nail in the coffin. There was no getting away from this life. None. The sooner I accepted reality the better off I’d be.
I heard the lock being disengaged and every muscle in my body stiffened. While I didn’t hear his footsteps, I could certainly sense his presence as always happened when he was close. I refused to turn around but knew whatever fate awaited me would be painful.
“It’s time for your punishment.” There was no particular inflection in his voice, just a practiced tone that stated he meant business. With my mother’s life on the line, I had to try to bridge the dangerous gap between us.
If I could stomach it.
“I’m very sorry for leaving like I did. I hope you understand that I was shocked at seeing all the blood.” When he said nothing, I sensed it wouldn’t matter what I said to him. He was determined to make me pay for my sins.
At this point, maybe I deserved a brutal spanking for being so goddamn stupid. I finally turned to face him, hating that his previously animated face was devoid of anything. There was no anger, no disappointment any longer. Nothing. It was almost as if I meant nothing to him whatsoever.
That was the most terrifying aspect of the entire day.
“Did you hear me? I said I was sorry.”
