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“Raika, I—”
She tugged my hand. “Let’s walk. I don’t think I ever walked around the entire castle, seen its full splendor.”
I followed her. I would follow her anywhere. Hands linked, we strolled around the castle. The sun was dipping in the horizon, bathing the tall parapets with a golden-orange glow. In the east, the blue sky turned black.
The silence between us was comfortable, but I felt like the words were bubbling in my chest and they would spill over in a messy heap if I didn’t say anything.
We turned a corner of the castle, this side already bathed in darkness, and I dropped her hand. I halted, waiting until she turned to me.
“Raika, I’m an idiot,” I started. “I have this immense protective feeling inside me. I need to shield you from all the bad things. It’s my nature. I’m an alpha! And you’re my incredibly beautiful, amazing, strong mate. It’s … hard for me to let go. To give you freedom when I know things won’t work out in the end. But I also know I need to. I’m so sorry I freaked out on you earlier. I don’t know why I thought you would change your mind about fighting Paimon after—” I clamped my mouth shut, but the emotions were all there, swirling in my chest, pressing against my heart. “After your diagnosis. But I understand why you didn’t. I admire your strength and determination. I still would rather keep you inside a protected house where I could keep an eye on you, but I will step back and let you do whatever you need to. I’ll be right by your side, supporting you in any way I can.”
She took a step closer to me. “There’s something I need to do right now.”
I frowned. “What is it? Just say it and I’ll help you.”
She advanced two more steps, rested her hands on my chest, and leaned into me. “You better help me because I’m not doing this alone.” She rose onto her tiptoes and lifted her head to mine.
A growl escaped my lips as I met her halfway. I closed my mouth around hers and retreated until her back was against the rough castle stone.
Then I jumped back, my eyes wide. “We can’t. You’ll lose control and you’ll burst into flames again.”
She fisted my shirt, tugging me to her. “I drank the elixir not one hour ago. I’m learning to control it. I can keep myself from exploding if we just kiss.”
She didn’t need to tell me twice. I cupped her face and pressed my mouth to hers again. She parted her lips and I kissed her with all my might. I smoothed my hands down to her waist, conscious of the way her body molded to mine, of the little moan that came from her throat and sent a shot of pure desire across my chest, down to my pants. Raika knotted her legs around my waist and I pressed my hard-on into her hips. Another moan escaped her lips and I almost lost it. My body reacted to hers in the most perfect way.
I needed her. I needed her so much, but I knew I couldn’t have her. Not now. Still, it was so fucking hard to back away from her. Her breasts smashed against my chest, her scent filling my nostrils, her delicious taste … it was impossible.
Her skin warmed up fast.
I broke apart again before it was too late.
Leaned against the wall, Raika frowned and took in deep breaths. She closed her eyes for a moment, probably reaching for her magic and trying to control it.
Then, she opened her eyes. “It’s okay.” She pushed away from the wall. “It’s under control again. But I should go back to our room and be near the elixir, just in case.”
“You should have one on you at all times.”
She nodded. “I keep meaning to carry one with me, but I always forget.” She started walking to the nearest door.
“Raika,” I called.
She skidded to a stop and looked at me.
“We’re good, right?”
She smiled at me and extended her hand to me. I walked to her, slipped my hand in hers.
“We are,” she whispered. “I love you too much to stay mad at you.”
“I love you too.” I brought our joined hands up and kissed the top of hers. “Way too much.”
Hand in hand, we walked to our suite.
* * *
The next thirty-six hours flew by. Raika trained with Thea and Almae, and sometimes Lavinia too, nonstop. She had a few short breaks to nap, eat, and shower, but she wanted to keep going while she could.
My protective instinct wanted to step in and growl at everyone for pushing her so hard, but I knew she wanted this. I reined in my frustration and supported her the way she wanted.
