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“There you are.”
I lifted my head. Raika entered the library. She wore a different pair of ripped jeans and a tank top, and her hair was damp.
“What time is it?”
“Nine.”
Shit, I had been at this for four hours and I had barely made a dent in all the books in front of me.
I forgot all about the books when Raika smiled and walked toward me.
Completely ensnared in her web, I stood. When she got within arm’s length, I grabbed her wrists and pulled her to me. I started leaning over her, then stopped.
“When was the last time you drank the elixir?”
She grabbed my shirt with both hands. “A few minutes ago.”
“Good,” I growled. I closed my mouth around hers, kissing her softly. All I wanted was to take her deeper into this library, push her against a shelf, and have her right here … but I couldn’t. It hurt, but I broke the kiss before my lust got the best of me. “Slept well?”
Her brows slammed down. “No. I’m guessing you didn’t either.”
Holding her hand, I sat down again. She took the chair beside mine. “No. I barely slept all night. So I decided to do something useful.”
“You should have woke me.” Raika picked up one of the books from the separate piles. “I would have come with you.”
“You need to rest.”
“So do you.” Her blue eyes darkened. “I might be dying, Shane, but I won’t keel over at this very second. I’m fine.”
For now. The unsaid words hung in the air like a dark cloud bringing a storm.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
She turned to me, her knees brushing my leg. “We should. This problem won’t go away. If we talk, at least we’ll have a plan.”
“My plan is to find a cure,” I said, my voice tight.
“Shane.” She rested her hand on my arm and I yanked it back. She stared at me with wide eyes.
“Sorry.” What the hell was I doing? I hung my head low, ashamed of myself. “I think I’m losing it.”
She slid her fingers through my hair and tilted my head, and I twisted my torso, so my forehead pressed to her shoulder. “I know what you mean. If I stop to think about it, I’ll go insane too. I’m not afraid of dying, but I’m afraid for you, for Minsi and Tyren. I want to make sure you three are taken care of before …” She took a long breath in. “I can’t let my emotions win, otherwise I’ll spend the rest of my days crying in bed.”
I moved my head and rubbed my nose on the soft spot between her shoulder and neck. I didn’t want to move from this place ever again. “Maybe we should. Lie down in bed, snuggle, and forget about the world.”
“We can’t.”
I lifted my head and reached for a book. “We need to research.”
She touched my hand. “That’s not the only reason.” My gut tightened. The way she said it. What was it now? “I need train so I can take on Paimon.”
I stared at her. “Didn’t you hear Thea and Almae yesterday? There will be days you’ll be too weak to move. What if you confront him and faint?”
“Hopefully, that won’t happen. The witches can make me an elixir to drink that will give me more energy. Before that, we’ll deal with those days when they come. But between them, I want to keep training.”
I shook my head. “I understood when you first wanted to fight Paimon. I get it. You’re the only one who can. But that was before we learned what’s happening to you. I don’t want you to spend the rest of your days training and then fighting. That will take too much of you and speed up this whole fucking thing!” My anger was rising again.
“I can’t live a fairy tale while the rest of the world burns.” Her voice rose too. I rarely saw Raika like this.
