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Yet, I felt safe. I stopped fearing whatever might be around every corner. I started to breathe easier. I was less likely to take a swing at someone or burn down a problem.
Of course, I never became a cuddly son of a bitch. I’m still angry a lot, and I take too long to figure out shit.
“Our honeymoon will be you moving in here,” I tell Natasha as Siobhan and Petra get pushed on the swings by their kids. “Later, when we’re settled in our new life, I’ll take you to Key West and get you wasted on piña coladas while you entertain me with your bikini choices.”
Natasha’s smile is the reward I’ve been missing all these years. She’s a naturally warm person and offers comfort to most people. Natasha was even coldly patient with an asshole like Billy Brennan. Her approval shouldn’t feel like such a big deal.
However, owning Natasha’s heart is what I want most in the world. As soon as I got her alone in the clubhouse’s bedroom, I never wanted her to leave my side. I fucked up my big dreams. More than once, actually.
Right now, as Natasha watches me hold Hector, I know I’m back on track, and my prize is within reach.
NATASHA
The last week has left me in a euphoric state. Bear’s house already feels like home. The wedding plans are coming together quickly with the help of a planner and Katja’s many assistants. I took the kids to meet Hunter at her mother’s estate. They saw Suzanne Knutsen’s many beautiful horses and ate mini vegetarian hot dogs.
Now, I’m on my way to my bachelorette party at an upscale bar in downtown Banta City. With a pregnant Carys in attendance, we’re keeping it low-key by listening to music, enjoying Jello shots, and eating Buffalo cauliflower. The entire event will take place under the watchful gaze of my security detail. Their presence scares off most of the patrons, leaving the bar nearly empty for our party.
My bridal group wears red shirts and tiaras supplied by the assistant my mom sent. My tiara has the word “bride” at the top and a little pink veil. It’s all silly stuff. Nothing too crazy. I plan to avoid doing anything to upset my family.
“This is Yvette,” Siobhan tells Petra and Hunter when she arrives with her sister and a club member’s wife. “She was recently wronged by her man, and Natasha was nice enough to invite her to the party.”
“Claw left me for a club slut with floppy boobs and an ethnic slur for a name,” Yvette announces and smooths out her long, blonde ponytail. “I need a way to punish him when he comes back.”
“Exfoliate his cock,” Carys insists as she sets her donut cushion on a chair and eases down on it. “And his balls. Really clean up that area. If you leave a few nicks and some bleeding, so be it.”
“Or you could not take him back,” Siobhan suggests while Hunter aggressively nods. “I know you love him, but he’s always pulling these moves with dumb whores.”
My brain quickly assures my heart how Bear won’t ever do such a thing to me. He’s had time to “sow his wild oats.” According to Siobhan, he doesn’t even fuck the club sluts anymore. I’m sure I can trust him.
Two piña colada Jello shots later, I start crying over how Bear’s going to cheat on me.
“I only know two good sex moves,” I tell Hunter while petting her red hair, “and he’s already seen them.”
I jump up in a panic and plan to run. Except I’m dizzy, and the music makes me dance instead. Hunter wraps me up from behind and sways with me. Siobhan stares into my eyes and dances along with us.
“You’re like your babies,” Siobhan explains while cupping my face. “This last month has been overwhelming. You’re getting spooked by everything. It’s not real. You’re in control. Life isn’t falling apart. Just breathe.”
With her guidance, I stop panicking and return to my seat.
Yvette turns to Carys and asks, “What was that?”
“Natasha’s big heart is always bursting with emotions. Don’t be intimidated by how much she cares.”
“Are you drinking?” Hunter asks and sniffs Carys’s drink.
“I wish. This baby is my last one. I’m sick of being pregnant.”
“You’ve only got three kids,” Yvette says, slurring her words. “I gave Claw four. What did he give me?”
Carys shrugs. “According to what you told me the last night when you were drunk, he’s offered you many oral pleasures.”
Siobhan snickers and downs a Jello shot. “Claw really likes going down on his woman.”
“Why?” Petra asks, while my thoughts return to memories of Bear nibbling at my inner thigh.
“His dick doesn’t make magic, so he needs to use his tongue,” Carys says and winks in a drunken way. “It’s sympathy booze symptoms,” she insists when a concerned Petra sniffs her drink.
“You shouldn’t let Claw come back when he’s done with the Gypsy bitch,” Siobhan insists.
