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“If you don’t want her, plenty of guys will step up. Hell, I could marry her. What do I care?”
“Why didn’t you offer to marry her before?”
Noble gives me a side glance and smirks. “Because you’re not a subtle man, Bear.”
“No, I’m not. And she’s so beautiful,” I say and rub my eyes too hard. “I wish I had been more careful that day with Ollie.”
Noble pats my back as I lower my head to the counter to deal with the spinning world.
“I could call Roman in the morning and get permission for you to come out to the house to see Natasha. You could make your case for why she ought to stick to the old deal.”
“She hates me.”
“Yes, but I remember when she partied in this bar. I was around back then to ensure she didn’t get harmed. You weren’t the only one who found her beautiful. Your club brothers wanted a taste, but I saw how she only showed interest in you. So, maybe she hates you, and maybe she’ll never get over that. But I bet she’d see the sense in marrying you rather than another man.”
Noble’s words seem stupid. Natasha ran away from her life to avoid marrying me. She stayed gone for two long-ass years. There’s no reason she’d submit to my bed again. I’m the bad guy. I killed her friend. She’d rather get smacked around by a piece of shit than see me again.
“You’ve got that big house,” Noble says after finishing his drink and patting my back. “And she’s got those two kids now. I hear they’re cute. If you’re sweet to them, they might warm up to you. A woman is bound to get soft over a man who wins over her kids. You can still have what you want, but you need to move now before Roman finds someone else.”
I think I agree with Noble. He says something about calling in the morning. Or maybe he said that earlier.
The booze hits me hard. I end up on my ass at one point. Golden and Tack are forced to drag me to a back bedroom. I hear them laughing about how I’m too old to hold my liquor. I think I might slap Golden. He calls me a dumb bitch. Then, I know I slap him. They laugh for what feels like forever.
Finally, I’m alone in a bedroom in the back of Above Snakes. It smells of jizz. I can’t believe I spent time with Natasha in rooms like this one.
When I told her we could go somewhere else, she said she was too drunk to survive a ride on the back of my bike to a Hilton. I knew she was mocking me, but I was mostly worried she was too wasted to say yes. Would I wake up the next day to find her brothers planning my funeral?
Before I could take her home, Natasha wrapped her arms around the back of my neck and stared into my eyes with her beautiful, blue ones.
“I see you, Bear O’Malley,” she said with complete sincerity.
I knew then how she was sober enough to say yes. I also accepted how I’d never feel for any woman what I felt for Natasha.
NATASHA
This morning almost creates a sense of normalcy in my new life. I wake up rested after the kids chose to sleep in their new beds placed next to mine. We eat breakfast in the family dining room.
Soon, we head into town to shop with Petra, Siobhan, Carys, and the kids. I feel more like the old me, hanging out with my friends in a town I know.
However, I’m quickly reminded of the squeeze of living in my family’s world. Security escorts us everywhere. The stores we visit are temporarily closed to other customers. The man leading our security team pays for the toys and clothes.
He also declines our request to have lunch out with the O’Malley sisters. That’s when I’m informed of the news report regarding Andrew’s burned-up meth house. His mom shared a picture of her dead son and grandchildren with the media. Fortunately, I’m not in any of the family photos.
“You would be wise to keep your newly adopted children out of the public eye for the time being,” the man explains, and I sense he’s repeating what one of my brothers told him.
The reality of what I set in motion comes crashing down on me. Andrew is in the boneyard. His mother is grieving over her loss. She wasn’t a terrible person, just a bad mother and grandmother. I spent two years in that life with those people. Now, I’ve blown up their family.
“It’s only been two days,” Siobhan says before telling me goodbye at the mall parking lot. “I know Hunter is dying to see you. We’ll have a girls’ night out soon. But we’ll need to wait until the drama dies down, and you get a little more slack on your leash.”
Feeling squeezed by the past and future, I hold on to Siobhan for too long. Petra clears her throat a half dozen times, and Carys mentions twice how her pregnancy bladder needs to get home. The twins hang out of the window, asking their mom if she’s broken.
Despite knowing everyone wants us to let go, Siobhan hugs me tighter, as if absorbing my pain and fear.
“You’re a good friend,” I tell her when she’s forced to release me.
Her blue eyes stare hard into mine. I feel her wanting to share something. She chooses to silence herself, which isn’t easy with her big mouth.
Back at the mansion, my babies and Laszlo play until lunch. They’re wiped out by the time we eat. Hector keeps leaning against me, wanting a nap.
