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The kiss is gentle and caressing; there isn’t passion or heat behind it, but it lights me up in a completely different way. This is a kiss between two people who are trying to comfort and support each other, and that’s somehow more intimate than our lust-fueled midnight romps. This kiss gives me enough strength to go back into that hospital, and I’m not sure I could have done so without August.
“Thank you for being you,” I whisper, pressing my forehead to her forehead.
“I’ll be at home waiting for you,” she promises.
Those words sound so sweet and right. When we first made the roommate agreement, I could never have imagined we’d be here, yet I’m not scared of it at all. In fact, if we went right on living together while trying to date, it would feel like the most normal thing in the world.
I watch her walk to her car to make sure she gets in and drives away safely. And also to watch her ass in those running shorts because I need all the good mental images to walk back into that hospital.
By the time I get back up to the waiting room, Warren, Patrick, and Liam have already gone in. Nonna made a quick visit, and now, it’s time for me to go in and see Dad.
Part of me wants to stay here glued to this uncomfortable plastic chair because what the hell am I going to say? The last big conversation we had was a fight, and we’ve been having petty disagreements about the restaurant all year.
“He’s your father, you’re his son, you love each other. Nothing else matters.” Mom hugs me to her as I stand to walk to his room.
I choke back tears because, holy shit, this could have ended completely differently.
My legs feel shaky as I walk to the room my family instructed me was Dad’s, counting the numbers on the wall to keep me sane as I go. Standing outside the door, I knock and walk in to complaining.
“This damn straw must be broken. And the TV won’t tune to the fishing channel, so I can’t watch anything. The mattress is killing my back.” Dad starts to wiggle around, cords tangling as he tries to get up.
“Dad, you have to slow down.” I rush to him, trying to push him back to a lying position.
“These pillows won’t lay the right way, and can you get that nurse? I want to go home, they’ve run their tests.” He sighs as if we’re all inconveniencing him.
“Give it up, old man, the cranky grandpa act doesn’t suit you,” I quip, and that stops him.
“You’ve always been the one with the wisecracks.” He points at me affectionately.
I untangle the wires, fix his pillows, and then attempt to put something agreeable on the television.
“You have to slow down. And not just in here, but in life. You retired for a reason. You need to enjoy it, or something like this happens,” I scold him for the second time.
Dad looks at me, really looks at me, and for the first time, I realize his eyes are glassy.
“I know. I know I do.” He blows out a breath.
And because I can’t handle this kind of emotion when it comes to him, I have to crack a joke through a watery laugh.
“I’d be so pissed at you if you died and you hadn’t agreed that my pork ragù over creamy polenta was the best addition to the menu in years.”
Dad sighs, coughing slightly as he tries to talk. I lift the hospital water to his lips, and he sips a bit of water.
“I’ve been a fool, my son. A stubborn bastard, to all my children. You were growing up and moving on, all four of you, and I couldn’t handle it. God, I’ve been an asshole. Where I should have been supporting and cheering you on, I tried to tear you down. I tried to keep you in the same spots you were in when you were little kids, and it was always about me, not you. You have the most innovative brain when it comes to food that I’ve ever seen. And I was jealous of it. I’m a proud man who couldn’t handle his son having a natural talent that he never had, how foolish does that make me? Everything was changing, and I felt like I was being pushed out, and … all I’ve ever known is hard work and raising you kids. What will I be without those things?”
My heart catches in my throat. “A good, honest man who has a legacy of love underneath his belt.”
It’s sappier than I thought I could get, but Dad is breaking my heart. How can he not see that he built all of this?
He nods, and I’m shocked as hell when a tear slides down his cheek. “You’re right, of course. Just took me too long and almost the end of my life to see that.”
“You’re not going anywhere.” My gut clenches at the thought.
“Not until I try that ragu, I’m not,” he jokes.
A beat passes, and Dad studies me. He doesn’t look as frail and ill as I imagined, but it’s so strange to see him in here. I can’t wait to take him home and watch as Mom dotes on him while he grumps. That’s where Liam gets it from, and I’ll take some sort of pleasure in watching him attempt to relax.
Dad taps his chin. “The restaurant, it’s our legacy. But it’s not the only thing. This family is more important than anything. My wife, my children, that is what matters. I know that kitchen is your pride and joy, and it might be cliché, but it won’t take care of you when you’re lying in a hospital bed. Only love can do that. I’ve watched you all come in and out of this room as I lie here, trying to be so strong. It’s a hell of a reality check. Just make sure you don’t let your mind get as far down the path of ego as I did. Learn from my mistake. Because if I notice anything, it’s that the girl living in your house means a heck of a lot to you, and you shouldn’t let her get away.”
