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But that only serves to annoy me more because no one in my family speaks up on my behalf until she says something.
“You would side with her without thinking about throwing weight behind me all on your own. Because God forbid what I say has any merit. No, it’s only worthy when August deems it so.”
My emotions are getting the better of me, but I can’t help it. Dad has been running riot with his opinions for years, being headstrong as fuck and not allowing any of us to truly stretch our wings. While my brothers and sisters have somewhat respected him through their own journeys, I can’t sit here and not run the restaurant the way I want.
It’s either that or I leave. But I’m not about to blow up this family dinner with that revelation.
Under the table, August pulls her hand off my leg like I’ve burned her. Great, now I’ve offended her. My jealousy, where my family and her are concerned, lashes out at certain times, even though none of it is her fault.
“Outside. Now.” Alana points to the back door, and I stand abruptly, my chair scraping the ground.
The night is dark and mildly cold as my temper rages outside, flickering just beneath my skin. Alana slams the door behind me, but I keep my gaze straight, looking out into the expanse of the acres.
She gives me a moment, then comes to stand beside me in silence. We’re the most alike, us two Ashton siblings. Where our brothers are more analytical and see things from a place of reason, we’re passionate and emotional.
“Dad is stubborn, kind of like someone else I know. It’s one of his greatest qualities and biggest weaknesses. He doesn’t bend to change easily, we all know this. It’s who he is. Does he need to work on it? Absolutely. But you also need to remember that’s your father in there. He is owed a hell of a lot of respect. It’s true, I’ve had my own tussles with him, and I always felt shittier after. Finally, sitting down with Dad, seeing where he’s coming from and then trying to change his view to the side you believe is right … that’s what adults do. Not blowing up family dinners or acting like a five-year-old. And definitely not throwing jabs at the sweet girl just trying to enjoy a nice night.” She raises an eyebrow at me.
Shame coats my throat. While I’m still pissed at Dad and want him to see it from my point of view without any growth or conversation, I know it won’t happen. I’m also feeling a hell of a lot of guilt for putting August in that position.
“It’s like, even with all of my experience, no one in this family takes me seriously. I came home to do a job you all asked me to do, but I’m being thrown obstacles left and right. Dad has zero faith in me, and it’s really starting to piss me off.”
“No one thinks that, come on.” Alana’s voice is softer than usual. “We all know how fucking talented you are. It’s just that things have always been the same here. And now they’re starting to change. Change is uncomfortable and takes time to get used to. We’re all coming around. But it has nothing to do with your abilities. I know that no one could take the restaurant into the future but you.”
“Does he know that?” My voice breaks a little, and I sound like the little boy just trying to impress his father.
At the end of the day, that’s all this is.
“Of course he does. It’s just buried deep under pride and the denial that he’s growing older,” she responds.
We stand in silence for a couple of minutes, and my temper has mostly subsided. I don’t feel like going back in there, but I know I need to.
“And what is going on with August?” She whips her head to me.
I thought the inquisition was over, but apparently, the women in this family are onto something I haven’t revealed.
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t bullshit me. I’m your sister. I knew the moment you had a crush on Katie Sinclair in fifth grade. You can’t hide from me.”
The only indication I give that she’s guessed correctly is the raise of my eyebrow. I don’t need to kiss and tell to my sister. Or, well, not kiss and tell.
“If you’re not serious about this, Evan, don’t even give it a shot. August is a special girl. She’s been through hell and back. She needs stability, loyalty, someone who is going to be there for her for absolutely anything she needs. You didn’t know her mother. August’s trust isn’t easily won, and once you break it …”
My sister looks deep into my eyes, and I try not to blanch. I don’t want to make the regular excuses that I’m a young guy and have no idea what I want for the future. But … I’m a young guy and have no idea what I want for the future. Am I attracted to August? Hell, yes. Do I want to get naked with her? Absolutely. Do I also like her mind and conversation? Yes, to that, too.
But I have no idea if I can be all those things. Maybe? If we hang out for a while and it develops, then maybe. But I’m not looking to put a ring on anyone’s finger, and if Alana is saying that’s what it will take, then I’m not going to cross that line.
“Noted.”
What started as a nice night, with a pleasant surprise from August showing up, has gone to shit. My emotions got the better of me, and now I’m even more sullen than I was when I returned home to take over the restaurant. The thought that I made the wrong decision coming back to Hope Crest isn’t one I have often anymore.
But on days like today? Yeah, I question if this is where I’m supposed to be.
15
EVAN
After the rest of an awkward family dinner, my siblings insisted we go for drinks at the bar.
