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Her brow tugs together, and she looks like she’s trying to solve a puzzle. “I wasn’t supposed to find out, I’m sure, since you didn’t mention it to me, but is this why you want to kill him? Why you asked Sebastian for help?”
Fuck. I had hoped she didn’t hear that conversation before she entered the kitchen, but I guess she did. It doesn’t matter because I knew after what happened tonight I’d have to tell her the entire plan. There was no getting out of it. Yes, I wanted to protect her but I need her to know that I was serious.
With a long exhale, I slump against the seat. "I wasn’t trying to keep it from you, but I also didn’t want to drag you into it. It’s the kind of situation that if the wrong people find out I could end up in prison. I don’t want you to be an accomplice to a murder. And on the off chance my father didn’t die, he’d do anything to destroy us.”
“I don’t like it. I know you want him to die, and I’ll be the first to tell you he deserves whatever is coming to him, but the idea of you killing your own father. There’s no coming back from that. I’m worried you might fall off the deep end.”
I reach for her and swipe some of the ketchup that sits in the corner of her lip with my thumb. “I’m more concerned about the effect my father's living will have on you. He won’t stop until he gets what he wants, which means I’ll either be forced to follow his orders or risk retaliation. I won’t put you or my mother at risk anymore. I’m tired of fighting him, tired of being his punching bag. He deserves to die. He’s a ticking time bomb, and I don’t know when he’s going to go off. All I know is that I have the power and resources to end this, and I will. There is no other option.”
She scans my face, the food forgotten for now. "There has to be another way, blackmail, or…”
I cut her off, trying to rein my anger in. “There isn’t. Nothing will stop him. He’s on a power trip, and no one is safe from him. Not me or my mother. He’s threatened to kill me so many times. What happens when it’s no longer a threat? He wants to drag you into the mess too, and I can’t let him do that. I refuse. I’ve lost so much because of him. I won’t risk losing you again.”
I watch her eyes and the way she swallows thickly. I know she wants to fight me on this, but she doesn’t understand. There’s nothing he won’t use against me. “Okay, and Sebastian? How does he fit into all of this?”
"He’s got access to resources I need, and while he won’t be the one pulling the trigger, he’s helping me come up with a plan that solidifies everything. He wants him dead as much as I do, and I know he’ll do anything to ensure your safety.”
She shoves her food into the bag and drops it at her feet, then leans down to unstrap the sky-high heels she's wearing. Once she's done, she shimmies her dress to sit crisscrossed in the seat, her knees pressed between the console and the door. It looks uncomfortable as fuck, but she seems to need to shift in order to think.
"I don't want to know anything, I think. It's one thing to know you are planning or might do it, but another to hear all the details. My biggest concern in all of this is the impact it will have on you and Sebastian. If something happens to either of you…” Emotion clogs her throat, but she continues, “I don’t think I could handle losing both of you.”
“Shhh, you aren’t losing either of us,” I soothe, reaching for her.
She shakes her head and clenches her tiny fists, slamming them down on her thighs. "You don’t know that. There’s always the risk of the unknown. What if someone finds out? What if you don’t succeed in killing him? I’m so angry right now. Angry for you, for us. It feels like we'll never be free of him.”
“Which is why I have to do this, Flower. It’s why I have to take the risk. Because if I don’t, then the outcome is the same. You were right when you said there is no us as long as my father is a part of my life.”
“I didn’t think you’d take that as an opening to have him murdered,” she squeaks, and I can see tears shining in her eyes when she turns to face me.
“If it makes you feel better he’s not even my real father.”
“What?” Her mouth pops open, “What do you mean he’s not even your real father?”
“It's a long story, but I found out when I had them run some blood tests on me after my mom was admitted to the hospital. I was hoping that if she needed a transplant that I would be a match, but what I found out instead was that neither of them were my parents.”
I didn’t think Bel’s face could fall any further, but it does, and I hate the way she’s looking at me with pity and sadness. Is it sad? Of course, but it’s life, and I’m grateful to discover he’s not my father. It explains his hate for me all these years. There’s no way in hell he doesn’t know.
“Wait, so your mom and dad aren’t your parents?”
I shake my head, “Nope. They aren’t my parents and before you ask I don’t know who my parents are. My plan was to ask my mother at some point and time, but she’s been in a coma since she came home, and the piece of shit refuses to let me see her.”
“Have you talked to him about it?” She whispers the question, almost as if she knows the impact it will have on me.
“I haven’t. I’m afraid he’ll use it against me. That he’ll find a way to hurt me or Mom worse if he finds out that I know. The only way for me to find out would be for me to have blood tests run, and if he thinks I know more than I should about her condition or what he’s doing to her, then it could ruin everything. He’ll never spend time in jail for what he’s done, but before he takes his last breath, I’ll make certain he knows that I knew everything.”
“I’m sorry…” Bel says crawling over the center console and into my lap. I don’t even attempt to stop her. I could use the distraction because there's a lot of darkness in my head right now. “I’m sorry for all you’ve lost and all you’ve gone through. I know it doesn’t change anything, that my apologizing doesn’t fix it, but I want you to know that I see you and hear you. You aren’t alone.”
Bel has a way of calming the storm before it becomes uncontrollable. She doesn’t run from my storm clouds but instead dances in the rain. She takes the bad and turns it into something magical, and I envy the person she is.
“I don’t deserve you, Bel, but I’m never letting you go. Never,” I whisper against her lips while cradling her head between my hands. So fragile, so fucking perfect.
She licks her lips, and her eyes flash to mine, a little wide, a little hot.
“I want you.”
“You have me. Always.” I run my thumb along her bottom lip.
“No, I want you…” She licks the tip of my thumb, making my nostrils flare and my cock grow harder. I look up and find her cheeks a crimson color. Is she embarrassed? I hope not. I’ll give her whatever she wants, but only if she begs prettily for me.
