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Lucas shrugged. “I listen to people die every day. Some days are darker than others. Today was better—natural deaths only.”
“That’s good,” I said. “How was your bachelor party?”
“It was fun. We drank beer and blew shit up. Professor Warren used containers from the recycling to make targets in the yard, and we shot them with our magic. Grant helped make some potions that made soda bottles explode like rockets. I think we got one to fly at least a hundred feet in the air.”
Lucas’s hands traveled over the scars on my legs, and his lips turned down at the corners.
I stiffened. “What’s wrong?”
He traced my scars with his finger. They were lighter in color now, but still discernible up close. “We’ve been through so much. I wish we could be this happy forever.”
“We will be,” I said, but I think we both felt the hollowness of the promise. We couldn’t be sure, not until this conflict was over. I quickly added, “At least for now, we have a wedding to look forward to. I want to make the most of it.”
“I do, too,” Lucas agreed, before placing a kiss on my forehead. “No matter what’s happening in the world around us, you never fail to make me happy. And that, Nad, is exactly why I asked you to marry me.”
I could tell his words were honest, but I sensed uncertainty, too. I didn’t think he was afraid to marry me, but it was more like something was missing. I’d felt it all day and knew exactly how he felt. We were about to join ourselves in marriage, and that was a commitment great enough to rearrange the cosmos. It was something everyone we loved should be here for, but they wouldn’t get the chance. My mother should’ve been here today to celebrate my bridal shower, and my dad should be preparing to walk me down the aisle, but they were both gone. Lucas’s brother and his parents wouldn’t be here, either. It was the melancholy side of an otherwise perfect union.
I was prepared to move forward with this wedding no matter what, because I’d been forced to keep going even when my loved ones could no longer walk beside me. I didn’t know if Lucas was willing to do the same, but by the goddess, I hoped so.
I wanted to move forward, even if the family I’d once had wouldn’t be here beside me to watch me do it. I wasn’t sure if Lucas was ready to do the same.
Chapter Five
LUCAS
“This isn’t working,” I complained.
I slumped to the ground and kicked my feet off the outcropping of rock Professor Warren had brought me to, swinging them over the edge. The rock face wasn’t very tall; I could easily jump down. The safe house wasn’t far, and I could hear Nadine’s laughter carrying across the yard. She’d picked apples with the girls, and they sat at a picnic table to cut them up for apple pies. It looked like it’d turned into a food fight. Meanwhile, I was supposed to be working on my powers.
Professor Warren wanted me to try summoning a ghost. He figured if I could help spirits move on to the afterlife, I must be able to see them. Otherwise, I couldn’t harness my gift.
“Perhaps we’re too far away from any spirits who will hear your call,” he suggested. “Or maybe it’s our wards.”
“Or maybe I can’t see spirits until I’ve crossed over myself,” I theorized. Oliver gave a trill and came to sit beside me. “I’m not a Seer. I’ve only ever helped spirits cross over under specific circumstances. Either Miles helped bring them onto the physical plane so I could interact with them, or I saw them while astral traveling.”
“You can’t rely on Miles to be there every time you wish to help a spirit cross over,” Warren said. “I know there isn’t a handbook for reapers, but there has to be more to your powers.”
I scoffed. “There should be a handbook.”
“With a gift as rare as yours, the stories get lost over time,” Professor Warren pointed out. “We can figure this out. I know we can.”
My shoulders fell, but I didn’t respond. I kept my gaze on Nadine as she dodged another piece of apple Talia had thrown at her. Isa licked the apple slice, then batted it around with her paw.
Professor Warren came to sit beside me. He wore jeans and a black t-shirt, which seemed in casual contrast against the suits I was so used to seeing him in. “It’s not your powers that you’re upset about.”
It wasn’t a question. I shook my head in confirmation.
“You’re not getting cold feet, are you?” he asked.
“What? No.” Nothing could stop me from marrying Nadine. “I just wish it were happening under better circumstances.”
I’d been thinking about this for a while now. I tried not to let it get under my skin, but as the wedding approached, it weighed heavier on my mind. I was certain Nadine had picked up on it the other night, but she didn’t ask about it. The last thing I wanted was for her to think I didn’t want to get married to her, because that was the exact opposite of how I felt.
“Tell me more,” Professor Warren encouraged. “It’s best to get it off your chest before the wedding.”
I sighed heavily, because I knew he was right. I knew Dr. Mack would say the same thing, and her therapy sessions had helped so much. I’d been able to work through a lot of my issues, but I’d resolved long ago that there was one wound I may never heal from.
I didn’t like to talk about it, but I knew I could open up to Professor Warren. He was supportive in ways my own family never had been. I never quite understood how Professor Warren had so much wisdom, yet my father completely lacked emotional intelligence at all. They were the same age—both in their forties—and they’d both been through some rough shit. My father had taken all that crap out on me, whereas Professor Warren used his experience to help. They were complete opposites.
