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Nadine and I were alone again. I lay on the bed next to her. She was on her side, and we were facing one another. She looked super tired, but also relieved. Isa lay curled up next to her belly.
I pushed the hair back from her face. Though I was still terrified, my voice remained steady. “It’s going to be okay.”
Tears welled in Nadine’s eyes. “I want to believe you but… Lucas, I think I did this to myself.”
I furrowed my brow. “You couldn’t have possibly poisoned yourself.”
“But what if I did, accidentally?” she insisted. “I think I manifested it.”
I propped myself up on my elbow, more alert than ever. “Nad, what are you talking about?”
She sniffled. “Right before this happened, Chloe and I were talking. I told her this pregnancy was going so well that I don’t feel disabled anymore, and it was like a piece of myself had died. It’s hard to know who I am without my lupus, and that scares me, because I’m afraid I won’t be able to advocate for the disabled anymore.”
I wiped a tear from her eye. “That’s not true.”
“It doesn’t matter, as long as I believe it,” Nadine said. “What if I accidentally cast a curse over myself so I’d be sick again?”
I wanted to tell her she was wrong, that this was some accident or fluke, but I wondered if maybe she was right. I couldn’t understand what was going on inside her head, so I couldn’t be sure this was unrelated. I felt helpless to assist her, because I couldn’t understand what she was going through.
“If that’s the case, you can break the curse,” I told her.
She shook her head. “I can’t. The Waning is affecting me, and my magic won’t be back for over a week. Besides, if Luana’s magic can trigger labor, who’s to say mine won’t if I cast it on myself? I just… barely feel like myself anymore.”
I stroked her cheek. “No matter what your health is doing, you’ll always be Nadine.”
She placed her hand over mine and closed her eyes, as if taking in my presence. “I think I need to remember that sometimes. Could you get me the box from under the bed?”
“Now’s not the time,” I stated.
Nadine frowned, like she thought I was making a joke. “Not that box. The other one.”
Oh. I had forgotten about the other one.
I crawled off the bed and found the box she was talking about, then handed it to her. Nadine pulled off the top and began placing the items in front of her on the bed. It was her box of mementos—things like birthday cards from her parents, pictures she’d kept of her family, and a necklace that looked like one Helena had worn often. A silver star charm hung off another chain, and I noticed the ticket from our first date. The house key I’d found in the abandoned mansion behind the school sat there. It had been a symbol of our sanctuary while we attended Miriam College. There was so much in there now that the box was nearly overflowing.
Nadine ran her fingers over each item, like she was trying to memorize every piece. I didn’t say anything, only watched on curiously. With every item that she touched, another tear fell down her cheek. It was heartbreaking seeing her like that. I wished I could help, but I sensed all she needed was a quiet moment.
“Do you remember this?” Nadine held up the gift certificate we’d received when we solved the mystery at the haunted house one Halloween.
“Yeah, I do,” I replied fondly.
Nadine spoke softly. “It was a good time—a happy time.”
Her fingers trailed to the ancient key Helena had given her. It was an antique skeleton key that hung from a chain. Nadine had gifted it to me before we started officially dating, but I’d given it back last Valentine’s Day. We’d agreed to share it, and she’d worn it almost every day since, until Helena died. I never asked her about it, but now I could see it was because it reminded her too much of her grandmother. There was a longing in her eyes, like she wanted to wear it again, just to keep Helena close to her heart.
I took the chain it hung on and slipped it over her head. “For protection.”
I knew the rumored protection charm inside it was bogus, but it seemed to bring Nadine comfort.
She spent a moment admiring the key dangling from her neck, before turning back to the other items. Her fingers stopped on Helena’s necklace, and she picked it up. She studied it for several long seconds, before her voice cracked. “I miss her so much, Lucas. I just know if she were here, she’d be singing songs to the babies and making them blankets for their nursery. She’d be concocting tea blends to help with the pregnancy.”
“We still have some of her herb blends,” I offered. “I can make a pot.”
Nadine shook her head. “It was never about her tea. It was her, just having her here with me, knowing she cared.”
“She still cares,” I promised. “Even if she can’t be with us physically, I think she’s still here with us.”
Nadine reeled back. “No, she’s not! If she were here, she would’ve known what caused this. She could’ve helped prevent it in the first place.”
