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“I’m here for you,” he whispered.
“That means a lot,” I said. “Because we really need each other right now. We all do. And that’s the problem. The coven is so divided, and there seems to be nothing I can do about it. I couldn’t protect Professor Wykoff. Who knows what they’ll do to her? All for… what? Questioning authority? That shouldn’t be a crime.”
“I know,” Lucas agreed. “And we’ll change it.”
“How can you know that?” I asked. “I think that’s what scares me most. That we don’t know. Our efforts could be all for nothing.”
“They won’t be,” he promised. “We have the prophecy.”
“Which can change,” I reminded him. “Lucas, I’m so scared about the future. If I knew with certainty that everything would be okay, then maybe I could deal with it. But who could predict what was going to happen today? How much more uncertainty will the coven have to endure?”
“I know it’s scary, Nad, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying. Yes, there are so many what ifs, but what about all the good things that could happen, too?”
“Is it still worth it if it doesn’t work out, though?” I asked in a small voice.
“I think it is,” Lucas said. “Our magic is stronger together, but the more you grow your individual magic, the stronger the group is as a whole. I think it’s like that with our other strengths, too… empathy, love, passion, talents, and values. The good we do has an impact. We can choose to sit back and do nothing, or we can choose to fight it, and find joy and happiness in the midst of all of it.”
I sniffled and offered a small smile. “How do we stay positive in all this?”
“I don’t think it’s about being happy and positive all the time,” Lucas said. “We’re still allowed to feel something, but we have the choice to let those feelings take over or not. Bad things happen, and we don’t necessarily have control over that reality. The reality we control is inside of ourselves. At least, that’s what Dr. Mack says. Our internal reality reflects in our outside world, because it impacts our actions. That’s why we need to keep fighting, because if we don’t, we don’t even stand a chance.”
“What if taking action is what damns us all?” I wondered.
Lucas shook his head. “We can only damn ourselves if we abandon what we believe in. We’re not going to do that.”
“You’re right,” I agreed. “I could never.”
“That’s why the prophecy talks about us,” Lucas pointed out. “Whatever happens, we’ll make a lasting impact. That, I know for certain.”
I sighed. “As hard as it is, I wish I could find the good in all of this.”
“There’s plenty,” Lucas said. “We’re making change, Nad. Long-lasting change. Burnings and hangings have been taking place in the coven for centuries. When we’re finished, the coven will be done with witch hunts. That’s a positive, for sure.”
“It doesn’t feel like anything is changing,” I whispered. I laid my head on his shoulder again and melted into him. I really needed this right now. “What other good do you see in the coven?”
I loved to hear him talk so positively. Lucas hadn’t always been like this. When I met him, he focused more on the bad than on the good. It was so nice to see this shift in him. His therapy had really been helping.
“I love the sound of cats purring, and the way they jump sideways at each other when they play,” he said. “I love the sound of rain on the window, and the way it drips down the glass. I love when the clouds part just so slightly that a ray of sunshine shines down on you and warms your skin. I love when we get our grades back in class, and you see someone smile because they did better than they thought they would. And the smile was only meant for them, but you catch it anyway, and you get to share in that tiny little celebration.”
His smile grew the longer he talked, and all I could do was stare at him in admiration. He looked up at the ceiling, like he forgot I was even there. My heart warmed.
“I love when someone’s laughing so hard that they snort,” he continued. “You just know they’re having a really good time. I love when you’re writing poetry and it just flows out of you, and it’s so perfect that you can’t even believe you wrote it. I love when—what?”
Lucas caught me staring. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. You’re so incredible. I love you.”
“I love you, too. More than you’ll ever know.” He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, and butterflies danced around in my stomach. “I could talk about every little thing I love about you all day.”
Heat rose to my cheeks. “Go on,” I encouraged.
Lucas smiled, like he was more than happy to oblige. “I love the way you lift your chin when you face conflict. Your confidence is fucking hot. I love the way your shoulders drop when Isa jumps into your lap, because you always look so happy and relaxed when she’s around. I love the way you bite your lower lip when you’re trying to solve a puzzle, and the way your ass looks when you’re doing yoga.”
I smirked.
“I like the way your ass feels in my hands…” He placed his hand on my hip, then slowly moved downward. He watched me the whole time, to make sure he had my permission. I couldn’t help but bite my lower lip as heat pooled between my thighs. Lucas grabbed my ass, and I inhaled a sharp breath.
“Keep talking,” I begged. I hadn’t had much of a sex drive lately; it was a side effect of dialysis. But talking to Lucas like this really turned me on. Emotional talk was like foreplay for us.
