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“If you have any more problems with them, you come to me,” Grammy insisted. “I won’t sleep until my granddaughter gets her treatments. Are you hungry?”
I shook my head. “I’d just like some tea. I have a massive headache.”
“I have a ginger blend you’ll love,” she said. “And matus tea for Lucas?”
He nodded. “You know me well.”
Grammy returned from the kitchen a few minutes later with a tray. She set it on the coffee table, then handed us each a hot teacup. She took one for herself, then sat in the chair across from us. “Have you found any more clues about the Wands?”
I shook my head. I thought Grammy was trying to make small talk, but the question felt heavy. “All we know is there’s a Wand somewhere inside the school, but we haven’t figured out where.”
Grammy sipped her tea. “I wish I knew where Nicholas had hidden the Wands. I’ve gone through every box, every journal. If he recorded anything more like had about the Alchemy Wand, I’m afraid it’s gone.”
“It’s not your fault,” I assured her. “I’m sure he never told you to protect you.”
She shook her head, looking thoughtful. “There’s got to be another way, some sort of magic we can use. Even if the Wands can’t be tracked, we have to be able to get close… an intuitive nudge, perhaps.”
“I’ve been practicing my intuition,” I remarked. “I have so much downtime during dialysis. But so far, I’ve mostly just been meditating. Nothing has really jumped out at me.”
“Intuition isn’t loud,” Grammy said. “In fact, it’s the quiet nudges you need to listen to the most.”
“I’ve been more or less waiting for this big message to hit me out of the blue,” I admitted. “Perhaps I need to take my intuition in steps.”
Grammy nodded. “I’m here to help you every step of the way. You’ll figure it out. I know you will.”
“Is that your intuition talking?” I teased.
Grammy smiled. “I know my granddaughter, and I know you’ll stop at nothing to achieve your goals.”
She was right. Death would have to claim me first before I stopped fighting for this coven.
Problem was, a part of me feared it just might.
Grammy shifted in her chair. “Close your eyes. I’m going to say a few things, and you’ll tell me your initial reaction. Don’t question it; just notice if the sentence feels light or heavy.”
“I don’t have any magic right now, though,” I told her. “Does intuition work with the Waning?”
“I believe it should, as even non-magical races have some form of intuition,” Grammy said.
“Okay, I’ll try it.” I closed my eyes and took a deep, calming breath.
“The first thing you must do is trust in your higher self—the part of you that exists spiritually. In some instances, it may even span lifetimes,” Grammy said. “What does it feel like when I say that you and Lucas are meant to be together?”
Of course we were. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. “It feels light. Deep down in my soul, it feels true.”
“Good, now how does it feel when I say that you will save the coven?”
My chest tightened, and my breath hitched. “Very heavy.”
“That’s your fear—your ego,” Grammy explained. “You cannot see the truth of the situation until you are able to uncover that fear. It’s like your ego is shouting above the whisper of your intuition.”
“How do I stop being afraid?” It sounded impossible.
“We must dig deep and examine your beliefs. What is it that’s truly scaring you, and what evidence do you have that the belief is untrue? Replace that with evidence of the truth you want to believe.”
I pondered it for several moments. “I guess I’m afraid because I can’t know for certain. There are so many different outcomes, different variables. How can I claim I know the future before it gets here? Even Seers can’t be sure their visions will come to pass.”
“If I understand correctly, you fear what the coven will become if you fail,” Grammy said. “But isn’t there a chance you’ll win?”
