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Another displeased grunt is accompanied by him protectively tugging me to him.
Again…this is cute.
This is nothing more than a little insecurity bubbling to the surface because you love the person that you’re with so, so much and some part of you doesn’t feel good enough for them; therefore, you worry they think that exact same thing and will someday find someone who is “better” for them than you.
It’s sweet.
And from what I understand about “healthy” relationships I’m witnessing normal.
And from a place of love versus possession.
Which is where Brad’s jealousy stemmed from.
Correction.
Stems. From.
He’s definitely that type of demon who feels like if he can’t have me…no one else can.
And that’s what has me on edge the most.
I know what he’s planning to do to me.
The game is always the same.
He’ll let me know I’ve been found. That’s always step one. Next, he’ll let me stew in that panic. Contract inward as I worry that every single person, I’ve crossed paths with in the last twenty-four hours works for him or owes something to him until I start spiraling. Shut myself inside. Cut myself off from the outside world. Flinch at every little noise I hear. He’ll then move onto the icing out period – designed to create a false sense of security. Make me feel like maybe he’s really gone this time. Done with me. That everything I thought I believed about him having found me was just my mind playing tricks on me. This is when he expects my guard to come down, and the second it does, he reveals himself again. What he knows. What he wants. That no matter how much distance or space there may be physically between us that I’m. Still. His.
Those very words were once painted on my bedroom window…inside my apartment.
Security alarms?
Didn’t work.
Witnesses?
Non-existent.
The camera footage from that night?
Erased.
My hard wood floors?
Spotless.
Area near the incident?
Cleaned.
The cops did nothing, supposedly because there was no evidence to do anything.
And then they turned it around on me.
How could I sleep through something like that?
How could I not hear it?
Wake up?
