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"I like it." A loud crash steals my attention and when I glance toward the back of the tavern, I catch sight of a man at one of the billiard tables pumping his fist as a red ball falls into a corner pocket. "This isn't where I expected you to bring me."
The corners of his mouth tick upward, but he doesn't meet my gaze. "And where exactly did you think I'd bring you?"
I shrug, resituating in my seat. "I don't know. Somewhere…fancy?"
He side-eyes me, curiosity playing across his face. "Is that what you would have preferred?"
I think on it quickly and shake my head. "No, actually."
He chuckles into his mug. "Thank the Stars I know you better than that."
I cross my arms over my chest. "Oh, you think you know me that well?"
"I've had plenty of time to observe you," he swivels in his seat, squaring his body to mine, "but I can always learn more. So, tell me something no one knows about you." He plants the bottom of his boot on the footrest of my stool and that small, intimate gesture has the hair on my arms standing at attention.
"Why?" I clear my throat, fighting the urge to lean closer to him. "So, you can blackmail me with that information later?"
"So, I can understand you better." I feel the full weight of his attention when he says, "Not everyone wants to harm you, Princess."
"And you don't intend to hurt me?" I ask softly, the brokenness of my own voice catching me off guard.
"Most people don't consume my thoughts the way you do. You intrigue me."
"Here we are," Baelyn startles me when he suddenly appears with two steaming servings of stew. Unceremoniously plopping the wooden bowls down in front of us, he double-checks to see if we need anything else before taking off to help other demanding customers.
I snatch the wooden spoon bobbing in my bowl and take a deep whiff of the hearty meal I'm about to devour. The beef melts the moment it touches my tongue, and the perfectly balanced seasonings and spices explode in my mouth. The potatoes are delicious and the carrots, which I'm normally not particularly fond of, are so flavorful that they just might convert me to being a fan of the vegetable. My belly warms with each spoonful and the pangs I've been fighting all evening are finally satisfied.
I suddenly remember I'm not alone when I see Atlas move in my peripheral. I twist my head and catch his line of sight. It's in this moment I process what he said right before Baelyn brought our food. Most people don't consume my thoughts the way you do. You intrigue me. I stare at him, watching him take another bite of his food. I'm sure he's uncomfortable by my scrutinizing glare but I'm contemplating what to say in response.
Tell me something no one knows about you.
"I'm afraid of the dark," I admit, feeling a bit foolish. He tenses but doesn't attempt to meet my gaze. "You wanted to know what no one else really knows about me," I shrug, turning my focus back to the stew before me. "My parents always said I had a wild imagination, that no true ruler feared something as silly as the dark but…" I'm not sure what else to say. Nox, Atlas' Transcendent state, flashes in my mind and I inadvertently shiver. Embarrassment heats my cheeks and I chuckle softly to keep from tearing up.
"But…?" he encourages.
"I suppose it's ironic that the girl with the crippling fear of what lurks in the darkness has the power of light humming beneath her fingertips."
"Yet you're more afraid of the dark now than you were before." I can hear the strain, the pain, in his voice and wish I could throw my arms around his neck and comfort him – to tell him I'm not afraid of him – but I keep my comments and hands to myself.
I flick my eyes to meet his. How can he do that? See right through me as if I'm just words on a page he can flip through at his leisure. "I've seen firsthand the evils that lurk in the dark, what creatures stir in the night and yet it doesn't do much to ease my mind knowing I possibly have the very power those monsters need to unleash their master."
He nods, quiet for a moment, mulling over his next words carefully. "You're allowed to be afraid, Princess. It doesn't make you any less powerful."
"You aren't scared of – "
"I may not fear the dark the way you do," he interrupts with a firm gentleness, "but I assure you there are things that torment me to the point I lie awake all night without finding relief."
His admission is unexpected but makes me feel better. I'm not alone in being fearful and he's not thrown one judgmental glance or word my way for admitting my truth.
"To fear is mortal."
"But we're anomalies." I run my fingers through my hair, wondering aloud. "Should we not be fearless, if we are meant to be at the frontlines to defend and protect the people of Dalerin?"
"We are meant to be courageous in the face of adversity," he counters, taking another sip of his beer. "The man who fears nothing has not truly known love."
"I don't understand."
He sets his mug down before turning his full attention and body toward me. "I love my country. I love my people. I love my family – my parents, my brothers, my cousins – and even my grumpy uncle. I love my students, my friends, my row house, my boat you inconveniently burned at sea –"
