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"Addicting, isn't it?" Finn's voice startles me.
"What is?"
"People watching," he smiles and the corners of his eyes crinkle, somehow making him even more handsome. "Sometimes I catch myself looking out this window, daydreaming."
"What do you daydream about?"
He shrugs as he pours boiling water into two cups and drops tea bags into both. "The future mostly."
"What is it you want in the future?" I prod, hoping to hear him mention a certain Sea Elf in there somewhere.
"I'm not really sure, if I'm being honest." He claims the seat on the opposite side of the couch, stretching his arm along the back of the cushions. "Sometimes I wish I lived a care-free life in a cottage deep in the forest somewhere. I, of course, know that's not in the cards for me, but it would be so much easier if I didn't have to play political games."
"You mean be assigned on assassination missions?" I ask, drawing his gaze.
"Amongst other things."
My curiosity has me wanting to ask him about what other missions he's been on, but I stay my tongue.
"What about you?"
"What about me?" I tilt my head.
"When you were looking out the window. What were you daydreaming about?"
Atlas. It always seems to come back to him. But how am I expected to divulge that deep, dark secret to his brother over a cup of tea? I can't just sit here in silence, so I say, "How everyone here seems so happy."
"Most Tronovians are happy," Finn concurs, "but like anywhere else in Dalerin, there are plenty of citizens who struggle. No place is perfect, but our uncle has done everything in his power to ensure safety, provisions and equal opportunities for our people."
"Of that, I have no doubt."
When our tea is steeped, Finn retrieves the bags and places them in a small bowl, before passing me my teacup. I take a deep whiff and melt at how delicious it smells. Though the concern it could be poisoned crosses my mind, I shoo those thoughts away, remembering Finn isn't the same as my parents, and indulge a long sip. The warm liquid coats my throat and the distinct flavors of honey and lemon tingle the tip of my tongue.
"This is really good."
He bows his head, "I'm glad you like it."
We drink our tea in a comfortable silence, occasionally glancing out the window behind us at the Tronovian children jumping into the canal to swim. Their laughter and excited shouts warm my heart. I don't recall a time in my own childhood where I was allowed to let loose, be loud, and express excitement about anything. I know for sure I was never allowed to jump into one of our pools fully clothed like the Tronovian children are doing now in the waterway. Admittedly, I lived a privileged life. I lacked for nothing physically, but emotionally I was starved. Mentally I was abused. And when I think back on my childhood, I realize sadly, that I didn't really have one. I was expected to be perfect by the time I could gurgle my first words. There was no room for failure, and any shortcoming on my part was met with anger, disappointment, and the expectation that I grovel at my parents' feet and beg their forgiveness for my error.
In Tronovia, I seem to make mistakes every day. I'm still learning how to use my magic and trust myself to make my own decisions, but when I fail, I'm not met with judgment. One of my friends picks me up and helps me correct course. It's heartbreaking to realize the people who were tasked with raising me didn't offer their love unconditionally. Their love had limits, and I honestly feel stupid that I didn't recognize it before.
I sense Finn staring at me, and when I turn to look at him, he smiles. "You have a lot swimming through that head of yours."
I chuckle softly and bob my head. I know if I wanted to talk about my familial issues, Finn would lend a listening ear, but I don't want to weigh our time together down, so I muster the courage to ask him something I've been itching to get the answer to since our travels in Bava.
"Can I ask you a question?" I watch as he blows steam wafting up from his teacup, curiosity in his eyes. "You don't have to answer, if you don't want to."
The corner of his mouth ticks up, as if he knows what I'm about to ask. "Ask away."
I tap my fingers against my cup, choosing my words carefully. "I see the way you look at Eris, and how much fun you two seem to have together. Why aren't you a couple?"
There's no surprise on his face, but he shrugs and offers a sheepish grin. "Is it that obvious?"
I chuckle. "To me, yes."
After a brief moment of silence, Finn sets his cup down, roots his elbow to the armrest and confesses, "I've been in love with Eris since the moment I met her."
"Really?" I ask and with a slight nod, my heart melts. "Finn," I whisper, "why haven't you told her?"
