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"Please don't tell anyone about this," he pleaded with tears in his eyes. "I don't want to ruin what I have with Eris."
"Your secret is safe with me, Brother."
And I have kept my promise these past two years. I haven't breathed a word of that night to anyone, and even Finn and I never spoke of it again. What happens between him and Eris is their business, but now I know a fraction of the pain he feels. I understand the agony of Shaye being within physical reach, yet still outside my grasp. I keep reminding myself that if nothing else, we will always have that night in the cabin, but that doesn't satisfy me. I want more than just one night in the cabin. I want a lifetime with her, however long or short that may be.
Finn finishes his drink and clears his throat, drawing my attention. "I hope for your sake that she chooses you," his watery eyes meet mine and I nod in understanding.
I hope she chooses me, too.
Thirty-Five
Shaye
With the boys having a night-on-the-town, Eris and I seize the opportunity to explore the castle library. We slip through the double blue doors and simultaneously gasp at the wondrous sight.
Just as I'd heard, the ceiling is a glass dome that runs the length of the cozy library. Stars twinkle brightly above us, but it's the roaring fireplace that draws us in. Each wall is lined with floor to ceiling dark blue shelves and upon closer inspection, there's not one free space left for new tomes. There must be tens of thousands of books perfectly organized and I wish I had enough time in my life to read each one. In front of the fireplace is a lounge; a white area rug anchors the reading space with a three-seat white couch and two blue velvet armchairs directly across. A white and gold coffee table sits between the seating options and there are blankets folded neatly and stacked underneath for guests to use.
After we mosey through the library, we snatch a couple volumes about Frost Elf history and sink into the couch, snagging fluffy blankets to wrap around ourselves as we read in silence. Without us having to ask, one of the servants tending to the library brings us mugs of hot cocoa and when the hot beverage touches my tongue, I moan, knowing there couldn't possibly be a better feeling than this.
We're not the only ones here. There are several Frost Elves weaving around the space, grabbing what they need and leaving once they've jotted in the enormous leather tome at the entrance what books they're borrowing. I'm not sure how long we sit in peaceful silence reading and drinking our cocoa, but I completely lose track of who is in the library. It isn't until footsteps approach and stop beside the couch that I peel my eyes from the book I'm reading and dare a glance upward.
"Well." Sylvane smiles, clutching a leatherbound book close to her chest. "It's nice to see I'm not the only one who enjoys a late-night read by the fire."
Eris and I drop our books and begin to stand to show Sylvane respect, but she waves her hand, stopping us. "Please don't. There's no need to trouble yourselves with royal frivolity when you both look so comfortable. What are you reading tonight?"
"We were reading about the History of Elowen," I explain, flashing the cover of the thick book in my lap.
"Ah," she bobs her head, shifting her weight from her left leg to her right. "Is it as boring as you were expecting it to be?"
A giggle escapes my lips and I nod, placing the book on the coffee table. "Worse, I'm afraid," I lament, infusing a humorous tone into my teasing. "I was expecting a lot more dragon lore, but it's more political than anything."
"If fantasy is what you're seeking, you'll have a better chance at finding those books at the library in the city," Sylvane explains. "This library is filled mostly with familial and political records."
"And if one was looking for a good romance novel" – Eris wiggles her eyebrows – "where would those be?"
My mother laughs and her voice fills the space, drawing the librarian's judgmental gaze. But the second she sees my mother, her face immediately softens, and she returns to dusting shelves. "Romance books can also be found in the city library." She takes a step closer and whispers, "Might I suggest, To Tame Your Dragon? It's an invigorating read, if I do say so myself."
Eris giggles, and even though she's not in her true form, her smile remains the same. "Noted."
The wrinkles at the corners of my mother's eyes has me staring. I'm not entirely sure how old she is, but she doesn't look more than twenty years my senior. She's truly gorgeous, and taking her in, I see my features reflected back at me. Her grey eyes, her smile, her long, white hair, even her laugh was passed down to me. I'm suddenly filled with a longing to get to know her better, believing maybe I will discover more about myself.
As if she can sense me watching her, my mother's eyes slide to meet mine and her wide grin fades. She clears her throat and says, "I've intruded on your reading time long enough. I will take my leave." She pats the book in her hand. "I plan to curl up in bed and refresh myself on dragon warfare tactics before I fall asleep. One can never know too much." She bows her head, "You ladies enjoy the rest of your evening."
"Wait," I say before I can overthink it. "Why don't you join us?"
My mother glances from me to Eris, who grins and bobs her head. "Please," Eris motions for her to take the armchair across from us. "We would love your company."
After a moment's hesitation, Sylvane sets her book on the coffee table and slips into one of the blue, velvet armchairs. We stare at one another for what seems like a small eternity, before I finally break the tense silence and ask, "Would you be open to answering a few questions?"
"I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask." She nods, settling into her seat, clearly gearing up for a long discussion. "Ask your questions."
I take a deep, steadying breath. "How did you and Enver Sol meet?"
At the mere mention of my father's name, she lights up. "Twenty years before the Great War, he and a delegation of Celestials visited Stelara as part of a tour of the Six Kingdoms. I know it sounds cliche for me to say it was love at first sight, but that's exactly what it was. The moment my eyes met his, something within me just knew.
"Celestials weren't known for frequently visiting Dalerin, but Enver made a point of staying in Elowen a few times a year. He'd find different reasons for his visits, but every time he came, he'd spend most of his time with me. We would walk through the city and grab pastries from one of the bakeries, attend festivals together and he would watch me practice with Corvex, who took a strong liking to Enver."
Suddenly, her eyes darken and the light fades from her face. "Enver always had a feeling that something was brewing in Malvolio, but no one took him seriously."
