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“It’s true. I don’t even remember. But seeing you changed stuff for me. I stopped staring at pretty twinks and wanted a big, strong guy instead. Someone to…make me do whatever he wanted.” I was oddly shy after saying this aloud.
His intense gaze was like fire in a furnace. “We won’t have a shortage of that.”
We sat in silence for a short time and then I dared myself to ask it. “What do you think George would say about you being into guys?”
Jordan’s expression softened. “What do you think?”
I knew George wouldn’t care. He wanted his son to be happy. That was it. Except… “What if he knew which guy you were into?”
Now, Jordan seemed a little more alert. “I don’t want to think about that.” He pressed his lips tightly together and looked away, at his feet and then at me again. “I can’t think about that.”
“So, not good,” I said quietly.
He shook his head. “We don’t know that. But…does it change anything? Should it stop us?”
I met his gaze and held it for a short while. “That depends.” He blinked. “If we’re just fucking, nobody needs to know. But if we want anything else, they’ll have to find out.”
“And what do you want?” he asked. It was a challenge. He genuinely wanted to hear my thoughts on this. There wasn’t a trace of judgment in his tone.
I blinked once or twice. I wanted everything. Everything I could get. But I didn’t know how to take it or how to make it happen. I didn’t even dare believe it was possible. My shoulders shrugged independently from my will.
Jordan put a hand on my bare knee. It stirred the same excitement deep within me like everything else he did to me. “Ash, we don’t know what’s out there for us. We don’t know where this is going. Should we stop before we give it a chance?” He held his breath for a short time. Slowly, he placed the bottle on the floor away from us and moved to his knees. His arms rested in my lap and his hands were on the sides of my torso. He looked into my eyes from below. “Let’s just give us a chance and see where it takes us. We’ll worry about the rest when we have to.”
It shouldn’t affect our enjoyment of one another’s company and body and feelings if it didn’t make a difference now, I realized. People died, and it was sad, but first, they lived. Relationships ended, but first, they lasted.
I placed my hands on his handsome, hard face. As I leaned in, he closed his eyes. We kissed in silence for a time. I had no way to measure or had an interest in measuring it, even if I could. We were kissing. That was all that mattered.
“Go lock the door, baby boy,” he said, pinching my chin. And rising to his feet, he towered over me again.“I want you to ride my dick until you blow.”
Breathless, thoughtless, and without a single doubt stopping me, I nodded. I did as he asked and turned back to him. He was holding the bottle in an outstretched hand, offering it like the nectar of the gods. As I crossed the room, a different sort of distance was closing between us. We were very firmly accomplices in this crime of ours. Nobody knew what it was like except for Jordan. And while I didn’t know everything about him, I knew far more than anyone else. I knew this side that he kept secret from everyone. I knew the rash guy who didn’t care about the consequences if that was the price of sharing passion with me.
He had never revealed that side to anyone. Not to George, not to Beckett, not to any person who played some role in his life. And that felt like we had some silver thread connecting our hearts. It pulled us closer together until I stood by the bed and Jordan sat on the edge. With my hands on his shoulders, I pushed him back until he lay flat on the bed.
Jordan didn’t make it hard for me. He thrust his hands under his head and observed me with a curious and naughty gaze. His face was showing the evening shade of a beard, making me wonder how nice the burn would be if he ate me now.
As I climbed onto the bed, Jordan inhaled a deep breath of air, his chest rising. I sat on his crotch, feeling the hardness that grew there with my ass, and dragged his loose T-shirt up his chiseled abs.
“Nobody turns me on the way you do,” he said.
I swayed my hips rhythmically, grinding my ass against his crotch until the tortured expression dominated his face. “You like that?”
“Fuck yes,” he whispered, almost breathless, as I pressed my hands hard against his bare chest. He moved his arms down and took my hips, helping me swing back and forth just the way he liked. And as it slowly began, passion bloomed. We collided again, insatiable and desperate for one another’s body. Our hearts beat for each other, and our souls merged into one.
I can never have enough of you, I thought. I’ve waited for years. We’ll never make up for all that time. But we can very well try.
The seductive dance turned into a rough and lust-fueled wrestling match. We grappled and turned, Jordan throwing me on my back and coming down on me with all his sexy weight. He pinned me against the mattress and ground his body against mine. He kissed me thirstily and undressed me greedily. He licked me everywhere and answered my question about his handsome beard between my cheeks. His sloppy kisses and licks worked my throbbing hole as his beard seared my sensitive, smooth skin. And when I lost control over myself, I begged him to fuck the soul out of my body. Jordan was happy to obey.
In the pit of passion, I lay on my front, and Jordan rammed me with his big dick like we were the only two people in the whole wide world. I bit the pillow hard to muffle my moans and held onto his upper arms on each side of my head, his fists pushing deep into my mattress. He rode me until the friction of the bed and the passion that spilled through me made me come. And after, he wrapped his strong arms around my body to hold me close. Shivers that ran through his muscles vibrated against me.
As we enjoyed the laziness that followed such passionate lovemaking, I whispered, “I don’t want to be without you.”
He was silent for a short time. Slowly, he leaned in and kissed the back of my neck, his front pressing against my back. His arms tightened even more around me. “You won’t, baby boy,” he said, his voice deep, smoky like expensive whiskey. “I won’t let you go.”
At those words, I held onto his arms harder, and my heart beat faster.
FOURTEEN
Jordan
