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My dreams of being a professional photographer had always been foolish, and now, playing pretend had almost cost George’s life.
“I won’t do it ever again,” I swore. “I’m sorry.”
He blew out a long sigh, and the frown mostly eased from his handsome features, his expression mercifully softening. “I know you won’t. I think you know better now and will take my warnings seriously. Won’t you?”
I nodded quickly. “Yes,” I agreed. “I won’t mess up again. I won’t put you in danger, George.”
He brushed an approving kiss over my aching forehead, and warmth settled over me despite the brief flicker of pain. George was with me, and we were both alive. Safe.
I would do anything to protect him, even if that meant giving up my small pleasures. I could go back to my photography hobby once we moved back to the States. It wasn’t as though I would ever make a career with my art. It was just a silly way I liked to express my irrepressible creative streak. It’d always been an impractical indulgence, and now, it’d almost gotten both of us killed.
I would be more vigilant from now on.
“You should quit your job,” he said, and cold panic pulsed through me. “Your small paycheck isn’t worth risking our lives.”
“No!” I took a breath to calm my nerves. “Please, George. I can’t just stay in that apartment all the time.”
I wasn’t particularly extroverted—George was the only real friend I’d ever had—but the apartment was small and cramped. The dangers of the city hemmed me in even more. I couldn’t bear to be trapped inside, locked away from the beauty and the ugliness of the world. All facets of humanity fascinated me. Even if I was apart from the emotional bonds most people easily enjoyed, I was able to observe it all through the lens of my camera.
“You wouldn’t be in the apartment all the time. We’ll still go to the market together,” George allowed.
The only time I got to take my camera out was on our weekly trips to the market, when George made time away from work to accompany me. Otherwise, my commute to the university allowed me a small window into the world. If I lost that, I would go crazy from the isolation.
“That’s once a week,” I said weakly, feeling selfish that I was protesting when he only wanted to protect us both.
He raked a hand through his sandy hair, mussing it from its usual tidy style. He only did that when he was deeply frustrated with me, and the gesture made me cringe internally.
“I’ll spend more time with you,” he promised. “You can come with me when I’m networking socially. But you’re not going to the university anymore. Not by yourself. And I can’t leave work to escort you around the city every day.”
Anguish crushed my heart, but I couldn’t defy him. He was only being reasonable, responsible for our safety.
We wouldn’t be in Mexico City forever. I could deal with the temporary isolation.
“You’d be okay with me going to the bar with you and your friends?” I asked cautiously.
George usually didn’t want me around when he was establishing his career connections. Going out for drinks and forming friendships was an important part of advancement in his line of work. The camaraderie he shared with his fellow agents also kept us in a tight-knit community that added another layer of protection. We were outsiders here, and the nature of George’s work made us enemies of the cartels.
He nodded tightly. “I can keep an eye on you when we go out,” he said. “Besides, a couple of the other wives come out with us sometimes.”
“They do?” I asked breathlessly, hope budding in my chest.
I didn’t make friends easily, but female company would be nice. Especially if I was going to be confined to the apartment for most of every day.
He nodded again, that awful frown still tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“Thank you,” I said fervently. “I’ll be safe as long as I’m with you.”
I knew that truth deep in my bones. George was my person. He was my everything, my entire world. He wouldn’t allow anyone to take me from him ever again. Besides, he couldn’t keep me safe if I made foolish, headstrong choices. I wouldn’t fight him on this anymore. I would quit my job and make the shabby little apartment into a home for us.
“Do as I say, and you’ll be safe,” he said. “I can’t protect you if you get reckless and go off on your own to take your pictures.”
“I won’t,” I agreed.
He hugged me again, and I leaned into his chest. He shushed me gently and rubbed his hand up and down my back in a soothing motion.
“We won’t be here forever, baby,” he reassured me. “Just a year or two until I get promoted.”
I nodded, hardening my resolve. I could stay mostly isolated for that period of time. To keep George safe, I would sacrifice anything.
