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“Is there something I don’t know about?” Mason asked.
Gray had forgotten Mason didn’t know about Nancy.
“You want me to tell the story?” Jack asked, stroking Gray’s chest.
“No, I can do it.” The dark made it easier. And as hard as it was, it was in the past, even if this case made the memories more potent. “When I was fifteen, a girl I knew, or sort of knew, was killed by someone who’d paid her for sex. I eventually found out that her name was Nancy Miller?—”
“Oh, Gray.” Mason laced his fingers through Gray’s.
“She worked a street corner near a housing project on my side of town. I’d seen people taunt her when she hung out by a convenience store during the day. I felt sorry for her. The store owner would run her off, but she kept coming back. One day when I was in the store buying a drink and some candy for myself, I got some snacks and a drink for her too. She thought I wanted to hire her. When I insisted that I didn’t, she looked at me like she couldn’t figure me out, like there had to be something I wanted from her. I wondered if anyone had ever been kind to her.”
Jack and Mason listened in silence, but Gray could feel the tension in the room.
“She was killed the next day. I saw it on the news that morning while I was getting ready for school. I remember blurting out ‘I just saw her yesterday’ to my mother. She just shook her head and said Nancy shouldn’t have been selling herself.”
“And the fucker who murdered her shouldn’t have been paying for it or killing her,” Mason said.
“I couldn’t believe my mom thought it was her fault, but I didn’t argue. I followed the story, though. It came out that she was a runaway. Her foster family was still taking money despite having ‘lost track’ of her.”
“Some people are such shit,” Jack said.
Mason nodded.
“Yeah, sometimes I wonder if I’ve met too many shitty people.” Gray sighed.
Mason brushed a kiss across Gray’s temple. It was amazing how much that simple gesture did to make him feel better.
“The girl I met tonight, the witness, she didn’t look a thing like Nancy. But I know she’s hurting just as much, and I… I don’t know if I can protect her either. She ran from me. What if she never contacts me again? What if…?” Gray squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the stinging tears that were right there ready to fall.
“It’s okay to let go,” Mason said, pulling Gray into his arms. “It won’t make you any less strong.”
Gray knew that in his head, but he’d taught himself to be tough, to hold it all in.
“Just fucking cry already,” Jack said, wrapping his arms around Gray from the other side.
The dam began to crack. One tear, two. And that was it, he was shaking, crying for Nancy, for the other girls who weren’t coming back, for Jenna because the odds weren’t in her favor.
“I’ve got to fucking solve this,” he shouted as grief shifted to anger.
Jack slid his hand up and down Gray’s back. “You can’t take all the responsi?—”
“Fuck yes I can.”
“No.” Mason’s voice was harsh, and it startled Gray. “You are so fucking good at controlling things in bed. I never even imagined how much I could want what you do to me, but that does not mean you have to control everything in your whole fucking life. Not at home. Not at work. You aren’t the only one involved with this case, and you shouldn’t shoulder it alone. Jack and I are here for you. It’s about fucking time for you to rely on us for once.”
Jack looked as surprised by Mason’s speech as Gray was. It wasn’t that Mason never got angry. He did, at them as well as others, but usually he was the one trying to calm everyone down when emotions were running high.
“I don’t like that I…”
“Need us?” Jack asked.
“That sounds so fucking stupid.”
“Because it is. We need you and you need us, and that’s how it should be,” Mason declared.
Agree with him. You know he’s right, Gray’s conscience told him.
“Gray, we’re worried about you,” Jack said, his voice low and soft.
