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“I’ll be looking him up and sending him a shit sandwich.”
I choke out a laugh, and the elderly lady next to me throws the stink eye my way.
“Please don’t. He actually apologized today. Which was odd.”
“Sounds like he came to his senses.”
I purse my lips. He doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who recognizes his faults. Something in my gut tells me there’s more to it.
“Anyway, tell me more. Have you scored with the hockey hottie?”
“That would be a no, Em. This is entirely a business relationship. Outside of gawking at his biceps and well-defined back muscles, it’s strictly platonic.”
She grunts. “I’d jump all over that. Make it not platonic,” she suggests. “Put the moves on the man.”
“That’s called assault.”
“Yikes. Okay… well, strike that from the plan.” She’s quiet for a minute. “Maybe try at the truth?”
“Which is?” I practically whisper, dreading the thought of airing my truths.
“You like him. You want more.”
“Ugh,” I groan. “That’s not happening. I’m not in the business of putting my heart on the line, Emma, and you know that.”
“Maybe that’s your problem. You’re too guarded.”
I purse my lips; despite the fact she can’t see my reaction to her less-than-appreciated comment. “And you’re too opinionated today.”
She chuckles. “I only want what’s best for you.”
Sighing deeply, I grab a gallon of milk from the cooler and place it in my cart.
“What’s best for me is making money and getting off your couch permanently.”
“I don’t like it. The couch isn’t the same without you.”
I laugh. “I miss you too.”
“Call me when you get the lady balls to tell the man that you love him.”
“I don’t.”
Good God. The thought of Aiden hearing those words gives me the chills. He’d run for his life. Love isn’t something that Aiden is comfortable with. Never has been. Which shouldn’t be surprising, considering his upbringing. The man didn’t have love from the person who should’ve loved him above all others.
It pissed me off then, and it still pisses me off today.
“Whatever,” she singsongs. “I’ll catch you later.”
I end the call, shaking my head. Emma is a character. One I cherish immensely. But she’s far braver than I am. Unafraid to be herself. To put her love on her sleeve and offer it to the first man she falls for. She’d own her feelings without thought.
That’s not me.
I’m petrified to own up to who I truly am. The thought of spilling my feelings gives me hives.
I spend the rest of the day grocery shopping, folding laundry, sorting it in his closet the way Aiden prefers, and trying to forget all about Emma’s suggestion. I almost miss the sound of the door creaking open and Aiden’s heavy footsteps padding down the hall to begin his rituals before dinner.
He won’t have much to do today because I’ve done all that I could for him.
