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I’m getting good at recognizing all of his compulsions. Some are new, and I’ve had to learn how to maneuver around them. Every day, we get a little more in sync, and he eases up just a little bit, trusting me to complete each task.
“I’ll do it. I’m already here.” I pull out a pack of wipes from my bag that’s in the closet and then take the few steps to the bathroom.
Everything still needs to be done, but it doesn’t always have to be done by him. I’ll wipe it down for him, and hopefully that will be enough. Sometimes it’s not. Other times... well, I hope today is one of those times.
When I’m done, I step back into the living room. “What else can I help you do today?” I ask.
We’re in his suite, closed off from everyone else so that he can have this time to be himself. To decompress. It’s the time of day I love most because it’s just him and me in the same room together. No distractions from outside people and things. No discussion of anything team-related. No lies about who I am or how much he hurt me.
“That should be it. Thank you, Cassidy,” he says, swiping his hand back through his hair. I turn to walk away and go sit down at the table, but he speaks. “Can I ask you a question?”
I turn back around and tilt my head, wondering what’s on his mind.
“Sure.”
“What’s your opinion of hockey?”
I blink. That was not what I was expecting.
“Umm. I don’t know. It’s fast-paced and very brutal.” I watch as his lips thin. “But entertaining,” I add quickly.
“Hmm.” He narrows his eyes and takes a step toward me. “What do you really think?”
I blow a piece of hair out of my face, annoyed. “I’m still a shit liar.”
“That’s typically not a bad thing, Cass.”
My back straightens as the reality that I said that out loud washes over me.
I take a deep breath and think back to the days when I used to sit and listen to Aiden talk for hours about hockey. I didn’t know a damn thing about it back then, but he made me love it all the same. His passion was everything.
Those days are long gone.
“What does it matter what I think? You love it, and that’s what truly matters. My opinion is moot.”
His eyes narrow further in on me, likely trying to place my hostility.
I throw my hands up in the air. “Fine. If you must know, once I get past the way people plow into you, I enjoy it.”
He smirks. “You worry about me?”
I roll my eyes. “If your season ends, what will I do?” He shifts, looking irritated for a moment, so I continue with the honesty. “I find it to be a fun sport. You make it fun to watch.”
He exhales, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think my words are somehow a relief to him.
“Now, is there a reason you asked?”
He turns around, wiping the counter…again. “Nope.”
I sigh, not in the mood to pry things from him. “I’m gonna head down the hall to see if there’s something I can grab to eat. Maybe there’s something from the vending machine. Can I get you anything?” I say, motioning over my shoulder.
“No. I’m good. Thank you.”
I offer a smile before exiting the room and closing the door behind me. I let out a harsh breath when I’m alone and out of view from Aiden.
It’s getting harder to lie to him about who I am. When he’s vulnerable, I want to soothe the lines around his eyes. When he’s insecure, I want to praise him.
It’s not my place, but I want to do it all the same.
